In Nebraska, tradition thrives: Couples more likely to seek parents' marriage blessings

3-in-4 Nebraskans Would Ask Partner’s Parents for Blessing Before Proposing.

62% believe that cohabitation before marriage is necessary for a successful relationship.

Infographic included.

We all love a good wedding, but how much do we really know about what goes on in the run-up to the couple’s ceremony, from the proposal to the engagement ring? It seems that times are changing, and the traditions around getting engaged may be slipping away. For our parents and grandparents before us, it may have been very important to wait to have to sleep together until marriage, avoid cohabitation before saying ‘I do,’ or seek parental approval before getting down on one knee. But what about the newer generations?

DatingNews wanted to find out just how many young adults today are moving away from these long-standing customs, focusing particularly on just how many young people are foregoing the once-standard practice of asking for the blessing of a partner’s parents before getting engaged.

The results make for interesting reading. The survey revealed that almost a quarter - 23% - of Nebraskans surveyed would not ask their partner’s parents for their blessing before proposing. You’d just have to hope they were happy about it and would turn up to the wedding itself. Interestingly, Nebraskans are more traditional in this respect compared to the national average, where 28% would skip this custom altogether.

When the results were broken down by state, it appears some respondents are definitely more traditional than others. Forty-eight percent of respondents from California said they would forgo asking their partner’s parents to bless them before popping the question. However, those in more conservative parts of the country, such as North Carolina, definitely feel they need to, with 86% planning to get a blessing on the proposal from their partner’s mom and pop.

DatingNews asked some further questions, one of which was:

If you decided not to ask your partner's parents for their blessing, what would be the primary reason?

Nearly half (41%) said it’s because they felt confident in the relationship without having to have it, while a quarter (24%) said it wasn’t relevant to their partner’s or their beliefs. Unfortunately, 21% said they don’t have a good relationship with their partner’s parents, while 14% believe the tradition is outdated.

Almost two-thirds (62%) believed that cohabitation before marriage is necessary for a successful relationship; after all, how are you meant to truly get to know a person if you don’t share a living space with them? And a very confident 89% of respondents said they would marry someone even if all their family and friends disapproved (hopefully those people would still be there for them if it all went wrong...).

DatingNews also asked:

Which of the following marriage traditions do you find outdated?

The biggest was waiting to sleep together until marriage (44%), followed by asking for parental approval before proposing (25%). Fifteen percent said they believe only cohabiting after marriage is outdated, while 12% were against taking their partner’s last name, and 4% said they would not have a religious wedding ceremony.

As for people’s biggest motivation for getting married in today’s world, a solid 70% said love and commitment; 10% said social expectations or pressure; while 12% said they don’t see a reason to get married at all. The survey also showed that 88% of us like our partner’s parents, and, on average, rated their relationship with their partner’s parents a 7 out of 10. Finally, and most optimistic of all, 84% of us believe the institution of marriage will still exist 50 years from now.

“It’s heartening to see that while some marriage and engagement traditions may be seen differently by today’s younger generation, the institution itself is still considered important,” says Amber Brooks, Senior Editor at DatingNews.com.