Class Will from 1932 MHS seniors

My first Christmas present was a puppy, a cocker spaniel named Duke. Duke was a great dog that was allowed in the house only to the landing at the back entrance. Dogs were dogs, not pseudo people, back then. Duke did share one thing with his people family and that was a love of mom’s cooking. Yes, Duke got people food supplemented with dog food, just like the chickens cleaned up every scrap from the kitchen, the original garbage disposal. Duke lived to be 15, the move from the country to McCook seemed to take the life out of him, but for all of those 15 years he got his share of the family meals. Then the experts said dogs shouldn’t eat people food. Tell that to Duke. That fallacy went on for years making dog food a hot commercial on TV. Now, according to the experts (commercials), your dog should be eating a fresh, shipped to your home, kept in the fridge diet, doggie dinner. Sounds like people food to me probably at a premium price. Yep, you can feed your kids at the local fast food place, but you need to special order Fido’s lunch.

The Bison Newspaper, May 1932 edition, includes a Class Will from the seniors graduating that year. Class wills are no doubt a thing of the past, perhaps because the classes are so much larger these days or because some of the “gifts” could be considered “bullying” today, but I have to share a few excerpts because they are quite humorous looking back.

“Last will and testament of the Senior Class of McCook High School, City of McCook, County of Red Willow. To the Juniors we leave our high positions and great responsibilities as Seniors. (Knowing this to be a task beyond the Junior’s limited abilities we also leave our sincere sympathies to the Faculty and other classes.)”

“We the individual members of the class, knowing how fundamentally lacking all other classes are, out of our fullness of hearts bequeath the following: I, Richard Adams bequeath my ability as a singer to Marvin Hoyt. I, Virginia Knox, leave my femininity to Margaret Martha. We think she needs some. I, Jane Ernst bequeath my brain, and ability to look dignified to “Shorty Walters”. I, Stanley Lathrop, leave my corpulence to Ester Adams. I, Myrtle Bash, leave my position as the most popular girl, etc., to any girl who can come up to my specifications. I, Howard Harts, with a breaking heart, and tearful thoughts leave Blanche to anyone with plenty of excellent references. (Jack Shaw might be interested.) I, Robert Colfer bequeath unto any Junior my positions as a laugh-getter. (How about Bob “Junior” Conrad. I, Maurice Reynolds, will to Clifford Wilcott my attitude of extreme indifference around the weaker sex. I, Norris Traut, bequeath my romantic nature to Frances Beatty so that she may progress in her affair with a fellow classmate. I, DeVere Clifton, leave my “eye for the basket” to Bob Stephens, as the only “eye” Bobby now has seems to be for blondes. I, Dee Amen bequeath unto Wesley Messingera my ability to make Junior High girls fall for me. I, John Batty leave to Fred Marsh my ability and technique in wrestling (especially in cars). From what we hear, Fred could use some. I, Roy Schneider leave my beautiful blonde hair, and also my track, basketball and football ability to Keith Korell. I, Dorothy Dillman, having learned much better, leave my desire and love for “Swede” Anton, hidden in old McCook High. I, Genevieve Marshall offer Fran to any of the Sophomore girls who want him. How about Francis Real? I, Eileen Losh leave my driving ability to Ellen Rosander whom we fear is sadly in need of it. I, Regina Patenburg leave to Eloise Maynard my hard-won ability to be tardy at any and all times. I, Willie Wagner bequeath my talkative nature to Mildred Peterson.”

There are several more “gifts” than what I have room for but when our library opens again, this collection of Bison Newspapers will be available for research as well as many Bison annuals going back to the early 1900’s. The 1909 annual is on our web site and contains photographs of buildings and classes from that era.

Join us at www.swngs.org for research. Our website information is free to all.