Worth more than 2.5 billion

Numbers don’t lie. People lie.

I’ve heard that old saying for years. And -- for the most part -- it’s true. But -- as an old bull shipper from Missouri -- I’ve discovered there are ways to use numbers to tell the truth in very creative ways, giving false -- and fooling -- impressions.

I’ll give you an example. Along with Delbert Blake, who shares the same birth date as I do: November 7, 1938, and a couple of good friends, Ann Trail and Jerda Garey, who also have birthdays this month, I calculated that we are all worth more than 2.5 billion. And we’re not unique. In recent weeks, I have either read in the Gazette or heard on the radio that there are quite a few other people from the Golden Plains counties in Southwest Nebraska who are in the 2.5 billion-plus category as well.

“What in this wide, wacky world are you talking about?,” you wonder. Well, I’m here to tell you:. The 2.5 billion I’m talking about are the number of seconds that Delbert, Ann, Jerda and me -- along with a bunch of other folks from this area -- have lived.

I figured that out the other morning after awakening early due to a very urgent need to go to the bathroom.

Because, you see, Delbert, Ann and Jerda and me -- are celebrating our 80th birthdays. Of course, as everyone knows and acknowledges, the 80 we are referring to is our age in years.

But -- while messing around before going to see my cardiologist and family doctor later in the day -- I started pushing the buttons on my calculator.

In just a few minutes of calculating, I found that this 80-year plus 11 days-old octogenarian has lived a total of 29,484 days; 707,484 hours; 42,459,360 minutes; and 2,547,561,600 seconds.

While you younger folks may feel sorry for us old folks, you might just ponder, instead, the fact that we possess 2.547 billion seconds of life experiences.

Dollars? Now that’s a whole other deal. We 80-somethings may not have 2-plus billion of those traditional wealth-measuring monetary units, but we are comforted by the discovery -- during our many minutes of existence -- that there are other qualities more precious than money.

In fact -- as we begin writing the final chapters of our life saga -- we hold most dear our memories -- especially those that were inspired by our kids, our kids’ kids, and our kids’, kids’ kids.

No amount of money -- we old folks realize -- can come close to the joy we feel when we contemplate the love and life-lifting pride we feel when we think about our children, our grandchildren and our great-grandchildren.

Yes, we are rich. In fact, you could even say we’re worth more than 2.5 billion.