Honk if you're happy

Here's a shout out to all the happy folks that keep honking at me in the drive lane at school!

And a kind request to reconsider your honking in the future.

First of all, we're not in a big city where honking is a norm. Here in small-town Mayberry, most of us aren't in that big of a hurry and things are that far away.

Plus, we also know half of each other, just by our vehicles and in my opinion, waiting 10 seconds isn't worth ruining a reputation.

I'm just a regular ol' mom, like you, trying to get everyone to their schools on time as well as get myself to work without accidentally leaving anyone anywhere or forgetting the crucial items of the day. Please allow the idea of being a tad more sympathetic to enter your mind at 7:55 in the morning or 3:30 in the afternoon.

Second of all, I am fully aware of the size of my SUV and I've been driving it for many years now, so I promise when I'm backing up or pulling out of a space, I'm watching very carefully and I will do my very best not to nick the corner of your smaller car.

I also have sensors in the truck to tell me if I'm too close to you, so when you honk at me repeatedly, it not only distracts me from hearing the sensors but freaks out my younger kids and then as a result distracts me.

If I go rip-roaring out of a parking space like the Dukes of Hazzard, feel free to honk away and call the police if you want, but until then, when I'm creeping out, gimme a minute and we'll all survive.

And, speaking of the gigantor size of my truck, when you are parked behind me in the drop-off lane at school and decide to honk at me in an attempt to get my big fanny out of your way, you are wasting your time.

If I'm not moving, there's a reason. I've not blacked out and are sitting in a daze. I'm not texting or taking selfies with my kids. My engine is not stalled and I'm not clueless as to where I should park.

The reason I'm sitting there is because there are small cars in front of me that aren't moving. You can't see them around my enormous backside so you think I'm just being lazy and not moving in a timely manner. Therefore, you start beeping your horn at me and I can see you going crazy in my rear view mirror, cranking your neck to try and see around my taillights and throwing your hands up in frustration.

Let me fill you in on something ... I'm frustrated too, because I have two little cars in front of me that won't GO! They're too afraid to pull out or can't decide which blinker to use, whatever, but I'm stuck at their will. So ...next time you want to honk, be sure you're aiming it at the right driver because, just a heads up, it ain't me that's holding up traffic.

And maybe, just maybe, take a deep breath and wait your turn. I'll be getting my big rig out of your way in less than one minute so give the horn a rest.

I think the only time it's really necessary to honk at the school is if your kid doesn't see you and runs off the opposite direction of where you're parked. OR maybe if you're witnessing a possible accident and need to quickly notify someone of the impending danger.

Or, finally, if you're toodling slowly past the school and see your long lost friend and find it pertinent to get their attention. Other than that, it just comes off as a just a tad offensive.

Anyhoo, I'm just trying to say maybe just save the honks for when you're happy!