Drive-thru madness

When a single person goes through the drive-thru to order food, it's usually no big deal unless they're late or something. They pull up, announce their simple order, especially how they like it, pay and away they go. Slick as a whistle! However, not the case when you become a mom. My whip it through the drive thru days have been over for several years now. Now going through the drive thru is a WHOLE process that starts WAY before I even reach the restaurant. You moms out there know what I'm talking about.

First I have to yell throughout the vehicle to all 17 passengers, "Where do you guys wanna eat?" Why my brain even allows me to still ask this question after 10 years of parenting, I'll never know. Yet, I still stupidly ask, and I still get 17 different answers. So after some bickering, I let majority rule and off we go.

Then as we are pulling into the chosen fast food parking lot, begins the moment when I ask the masses what they want to eat. I do this so early because, and I guarantee, their minds will change three times even before I approach the menu sign. Now, when I'm inches from triggering the order taking sensor, I ask ONE last time, "Does everyone know what they want?" Instantly, all kinds of food orders and their fixin's are hollered out from the rear of the truck. Cheeseburgers with no cheese, just pickle! Chicken nuggets with no dippin', apples but no brown ones! Double, bacon, mushroom melts and a Frappe! A kid's meal with a toy for boys this time, not girls cause we already have the girls toy! And on and on!

All these random food words are flying out of each person's mouth....all at the same time. With each child repeating their order for fear I missed it, "Mom, did you hear me? I want...." And then somehow, in the midst of this insanity, me as the mom, has to not only scan the menu board filled with 132 meal options typed in size 8 font to find their order, but also be able to hear each order, AND ... decipher which child it came from, so as not to miss anyone.

When I feel I finally got a good grasp on what I'm ordering, I pull up and begin the ordering process.

I successfully repeat each baby bird's order to the food lady to the best of my 40 year old scatterbrained memory and then it hits me that I need to order for myself. Oh ya, me?! What do I want? After all that chaos, my brain is toast, so usually I just spy the first thing I see on the menu and settle on it. Mmmm ... a delicious fish gut sandwich, but I added the gigantor coke, so I'm good.

Finally we get the seven sacks of food, which begins the dispersement part of the drive thru process. As a mom, I've learned to NEVER leave the drive thru lane completely until all the food orders are confirmed or I'll never hear the end of it from my kids.

They'll be bawling and pouting for miles if someone's cheeseburger didn't make it in the bag. And many a time, have I flipped a U-ey in the parking lot, marched back in the restaurant and retrieved my missing small fries.

Anyways, the food is passed out, everyone digs into their meals and you'd think all was well in the world, but never ... within minutes it starts up again, "they put mustard on this" or "I didn't want fries, I told you onion rings," blah, blah, blah. I'm tellin' ya, this drive thru process is madness, from start to finish!

To be continued ...