Taking the quick way out

Declan and I were watching a preview for that new movie "Diary of a Wimpy Kid," the preview featured one young grade-schooler attempting to educate his social misfit of a friend, on how to move up the popularity ladder. The misfit, of course, misunderstands his friends direction on complimenting other popular kids, and very publicly tells a more popular classmate, "nice butt" as if it were an everyday greeting. I laughed hysterically when I saw this and I remember Declan's ears perking up and him looking at me curiously. I should have known then I was in big trouble, but I didn't. He asked me what was so funny and since I had no clue how to explain the situation I took the quick way out and said "he told the other boy he had a nice butt." Declan was certainly confused but since I had no better answer at the time I let it go.

I paid for my lack of initiative the next day as we walked into Walmart. A younger man about twice my size was exiting as we entered. Declan eye-balled him curiously as he passed us and then, completely off the current topic and in a voice loud enough for everyone within a square-mile to hear, asked "How come you didn't tell him he had a nice butt?" The giant of a man shot a confused and snarley look at me as I turned three shades of red and mumbled something incomprehensible to any of us. I gave Declan's arm a quick tug and picked up our pace as I sped into the safety of the store.

After I recovered from the embarrassment and began to see the humor in it, I tried to defuse the situation as we shopped. Explaining to my increasingly curious 5-year-old that only girls had nice butts and that was why it was so funny when the boy on TV said it to another boy, again, ignorantly setting myself up for a crash.

We finished shopping and made our way to the checkout, several conversations later. Declan was being uncharacteristically quiet and oddly interested in the woman checking out in front of us. He waited patiently until she turned back and looked at him and then, without warning to me of course, said very calmly, "Nice butt." I again turned five shades of red and began talking 100 miles an hour. I tried to explain to the giggling woman that it was from something he had seen in a movie preview, I added that I was very sorry.

Even now I am uncertain that I could have explained the initial situation to Declan in a manner that would have avoided my public embarrassment. But one thing is for certain, next time I will give it much more effort, as I learned first hand that the price of taking the quick way out can be steep.

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