The perfect wife

The true measure of a man can be seen in how he treats his woman. In modern understanding, we prefer to frame the relationship more in terms of mutual trust and understanding. Our parent's generation though had no hang-ups about whether a man "owned" his wife; she was his and he was hers. This weekend we flew to Denver to attend memorial service for Ann's favorite Aunt. She died a widow counting 83 years. We gathered to celebrate a happy life well-lived.

The story that best illustrates Aunt Shirley's life was told me by one of Uncle Deryl's favorite friends, a doctor of veterinarian medicine. Doc told me how he and Deryl were one day headed north of Denver. Traveling the interstate, they were trailering the fishing boat behind Deryl's pickup. Somewhere short of Sterling Deryl happened to glance back and oh,oh, no boat! Finding a crossover, they reversed course and sure enough about eight miles back, found their boat sitting contentedly on its trailer alongside an off ramp. The boat looked OK but Deryl could foresee a problem with the State Trooper parked alongside.

Now Ann's mother's brother was born with a shrunken leg that never developed normally. However handicap was not a concept that that Deryl ever embraced. He whittled himself a perfectly functioning wooden leg and pressed on with a really active life centered on hunting and horses. He pursued any and all beast or fowl sized from rabbits, ducks and pheasants up through deer, bear, and elk. Of course, he took advantage of the privilege to shoot from an open Jeep or any other special dispensation offered by unsuspecting fish and game special agents. In actuality he needed no advantage to compete!

Doc backed to rehook the boat trailer while Deryl ambled over to "visit" with the interested gentleman from the CHP. Now understand that Deryl could walk without a noticeable limp but other times, well maybe a little theatrics couldn't hurt. Turned out a small problem had developed when the patrolman ran the license plate. Seems the license on the boat trailer had been issued for a horse trailer. "Wouldn't you know, I told my wife to go put those licenses on the trailers," drawled Deryl. "It looks like she mixed them up and put the wrong one on the boat trailer!"

Doc had to turn away to hide his grin for fear of exposing the charade. Doc knew the couple well and for sure, Deryl had sent her out to put the license on the boat trailer but first she had to remove it from its proper perch on the horse trailer. After all, one can only pull one trailer at a time and besides it is cheaper to switch than to buy a second license. The trooper's reply, "Being as there was no harm done, I'll let you go! Now be sure when you get back home to get the correct license on the right trailer!"

And that is the way that this wonderful couple approached life. Shirley catered to Deryl's every whim. It was not that Deryl demanded it, Shirley wanted it that way. What a testimony of love and respect in a marriage. The lady stood tall and all of us who knew her loved her for it! Now on occasion, I have pointed out to my own spouse that perhaps she should follow more closely her Aunt's prescription of service to her husband. Those suggestions somehow fall on deaf ears along with the admonition that I'd best not push it!

Shirley joined the family when Ann was 10 and Truman was president. The lady came bearing gifts, comic books, chewing gum and other items nearly unattainable at the end of World War II. It was the precious bubble gum that won her niece over. She also taught her how to save it. When young jaws grew tired of chewing, the wad would be carefully wrapped in wax paper and hidden in the bread box to be savored and chewed again later. Ah the memories that attach to special person's lives.

In a sense related to this saga is a parallel story of love and devotion. Shirley's granddaughter Kelly was married in Louviers, a neat little suburb just south of Denver. The date was the 28th day of June just past. Both Ann and I attended the happy event.

I had been invited to another wedding that same day. One of my flying students, Wes Hock and his new bride Kendra were married at nearly the exact same hour in Hastings. It was ironic then that I also had to miss Kendra's funeral which was held in Nebraska only a few hours ahead of Aunt Shirley's. Coincidence yes but a lesson that I attempted to impress on Kelly and her new husband. Life is precious and can be tragically cut short. There is no guarantee of the long life given her grandmother. I cajoled them to cherish every minute given with their life partner. It is a lesson that each of us can take to heart.

That is the way I see it.