Dear Diary: Columnist shares his thoughts

I have decided to publish my very personal diary for my column this week.

This was very difficult for me to decide to publish this, as my diary is very dear to me. Please don't make fun of me for sharing my intimate thoughts throughout the past week.

Before you begin to read I must warn you of my tendency to lie on dates that contain the following: Saturday, January 16.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 16:

Dear Diary: I had the privilege of watching the McCook girls basketball team play earlier tonight. It was a very exciting game and they ended up beating the Hastings Tigers in overtime.

I was "wowed" by sophomore Jillian Bryant. She is getting to be a great basketball player and overall athlete.

I am also overjoyed by the success of the girls basketball team this year.

Head coach Bill Beckenhauer is guiding this team to a great season. I look forward to getting to see them play again. Maybe if I get lucky then Beckenhauer can show me how to shoot the basketball.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 17:

Dear Diary: I was at one of the greatest parties ever tonight! I apologize for the lateness of this entry, but I was in Lincoln for this bash.

I was the only non-Husker football player present. It was crazy! Even rush end Bernard Thomas and former receiver Wilson Thomas were there.

It was a blast, but I decided to leave early because the house was getting a little out of control and they were playing the music a little too loud for my tastes.

I just hope that the police didn't show up, bust the party and arrest all of the players there. Because that would be an embarrassment for the program and Husker coach Bill Callahan would have to denounce the players‚ rowdy actions.

The only downside to the whole night was that I had to drive all the way back from Lincoln alone. Man! It was really late when I finally arrived at my home.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 18:

Dear Diary: I apologize for my lack of a journal entry. I was in a deep slumber all day. I promise I will make the lack of an entry up to you later.

Maybe I will write about that one time last year when a girl actually talked to me.

She never did tell me what her name was, but at least she said "hi!"

MONDAY, JANUARY 19:

Dear Diary: I don't want to show my face in public today. I feel really foolish for predicting the Colts to beat the Patriots in my last column.

In fact, the Patriots beat the bazooka out of the Colts.

At least I predicted the Panthers to win. I can always bring that up when someone points out my terribly wrong prediction on the other game.

But I suppose what makes me the most gloomy is that the McCook girls basketball team is still unranked.

Even though they defeated Lexington, who is ranked as high as fifth in the state polls.

I guess the 10-4 girls just aren't getting any respect despite their great play this season.

The Bison girls shouldn't be saddened, as they have won over my complete respect.

Also, it appears as if the Cambridge boys basketball team is stubborn about losing a game.

They sure are talented. If they continue on with their winning ways, then I might just have to show them up in a game of 1-on-5. Me defeating them.

Or not.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 20:

Dear Diary: I am happy! I learned that Jessica Hall from the McCook Swimming/Diving team qualified for the state tournament this week.

After hearing that, I am motivated to finally learn how to swim. But I will probably just fake my drowning again so that the cute lifeguard is forced to give me mouth-to-mouth.

Can you blame me for that? I didn't think so.

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 21:

Dear Diary: I just got done watching the "Power Team."

Even though it is late at night, I must work out. I see no reason why I can't start lifting weights now and build my muscle mass to a superhuman level.

Of course, my goal with this is to impress all of my lady friends into looking past my thin skull, and right into my thick muscles.

They won't even know what's hitting them when muscley Tyler comes along!

If you would like to visit with Tyler sometime today at the Gazette, he will be a little late. He is too muscle-bound after his workout to get through any of our doors. You can e-mail him instead at sports@mccookgazette.com.