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A lip-smaking economic fix
Not long ago, a friend told me that financial analysts track lipstick sales in order to forecast economic trends. The rationale? When the women of America want to feel better about themselves, they purchase a new shade of lip color.
Although it's a small expenditure, it apparently indicates that the whole family will soon be out shopping for something much bigger, like a new Buick. I'm not sure where my friend got her information, but I do remember being astounded that it all starts with lipstick.
Who knew? I buy lipstick sometimes, just to feel better about myself. I do it on low-esteem days, when I'm particularly susceptible to the influence of ruby-lipped models on the cosmetic displays at Wal-Mart.
The fact is, I seldom wear lipstick, unless I wake up 20 minutes early and find some extra time in the morning. I don't remember following up the purchase of new lipstick with the purchase of a new Buick, but maybe I'm the exception that proves the rule.
If nail polish was tagged as a consumer-confidence indicator, I'd be a more reliable barometer. I buy nail polish regardless of how it looks on the models pictured in cosmetics displays.
You know what? Maybe that's the secret. Knowing full well that lipstick wears off after my first cup of coffee, I only spend money on it when my "suggestive-marketing" resistance is low. That's how I've managed to collect 20 shades over the last 10 years.
As long as my sales resistance is up, I can fight off any marketing approach. But when I'm feeling a little fragile, a little lonely or vulnerable, then "Wham!" It hits me. The lipstick compulsion.
That's what analysts are tracking -- the lipstick "Wham!" They're pinpointing the mysterious, collective instinct that tells women to go out and buy more "Mango Madness."
Obviously, it indicates that a successful marketing cycle is about to begin, that unsuspecting consumers will soon succumb, en masse, to the siren call of the advertiser. And to think it begins with humble women like me, who suddenly wake up one morning craving a new shade of lipstick.
I'm not sure that cosmetics conglomerates realize the power they wield. If they did, perhaps they'd act to help the economy by putting their finer lipsticks on sale.
Of course, the reality about the condition of our economy varies widely, depending on the source of your information. (Perhaps the interrelationships among various economic indicators are too complex for instant analysis within the framework of a 30-second sound bite?)
No matter. For my money, I'm sticking with the lipstick theory. Gals, we simply need to go out and buy new lipstick and everything will be fine. We can change the course of our nation's economic future. We have the power.
As soon as I finish writing, I'm heading straight for my cosmetic bag. I'm going to dump it out and take an inventory of all my lipstick. Then I'll head to the store and buy one each of every shade I don't own.
Alan Greenspan will take note. He'll probably call me to say, "Thanks." I'll be gracious. I won't accept his accolades. After all, I'm no hero. Buying new lipstick is the least I can do for my country.
Meanwhile, if research funding was withheld for topics like "Lipstick: The Economic Indicator for the Next Generation," perhaps the economy would gain some real momentum. In the meantime, I'd better get moving. It seems I have an appointment with destiny, or at very least an important date with my cosmetic bag.