Cowboy Poetry winners announced

Dick Haag of Indianola submitted the winning poem, "Aging the Old Way" in the Cowboy Poetry and Song Contest, sponsored by the McCook Daily Gazette, the McCook Area Chamber of Commerce and the Buffalo Commons Storytelling Committee. The second place winner was Glenn Hinton of Arapahoe with his entry, "Cowboy in Heaven." Mackay Brown of Maywood took third place with "Cowboy's Revenge."

Haag and Brown attended an informal reception for cowboy poets Thursday night at the Bieroc Cafe, joining Cactus Chris and the Saggy Bottom Boys, who led off a night of impromptu entertainment.

The contest drew 72 entries from 41 contestants from around Southwest Nebraska and Northwest Kansas.

Under the contest guidelines, Haag wins $100, Hinton, $50 and Brown $25. The winning poems will be presented live on stage during the Cowboy Poets Jamboree tonight, 7:30 p.m., at the Fox Theater. Aging the Old Way

By Dick Haag

Indianola I'm not a gambler but I would bet

That if I turned on my TV set,

I'd see a young woman, with an old boyfriend

Skin tight britches over her rear end,

Extolling the virtues of a certain drug

She says will beat the baldness bug.

She says "My boyfriend's old, but I don't care

He's got thicker, fuller-looking hair."

Then a different gal comes on to say,

That she can wash my gray away.

I then would look just half my age,

And all the girls think I'm the rage.

Jane Fonda says if I work out

Chicks will dig me, there's no doubt.

Then Bob Dole wants to speak frank with me,

He says it don't matter if I got E.D.

He says take these pills the way I do,

And you can make whoopee at eighty-two.

Now I'm speaking for me and not my wife,

But that ain't one of my goals in life.

Why do they think it's every man's dream

To be an octegenarian love machine?

When can we say enough's enough?

I'm just too old for that kind of stuff.

If I make eighty I think my wish

Will be to sit by a pond, drink beer and fish.

Just a fisherman, with a fishing hat,

Not a bedroom acrobat.

I don't want to be known wherever I go,

As a re-haired, drug-induced Romeo.

This staying young is getting too high tech,

Just let me age like an old redneck.

I've spent a lot of money on this look I have,

And it wasn't on pills or a miracle salve.

They can keep their potions and fancy drugs,

I've built this figure from frosty mugs.

If I'm looking old, well that's OK,

I think it's supposed to be that way.

So when I arrive at the Golden Gate,

I'll be wrinkled, bald and overweight! Cowboy in Heaven

By Glenn Hinton

Arapahoe When a cowboy goes to heaven

How does he get around?

He prefers a horse and saddle

To his feet upon the ground.

That's why you've seen the picture

We all have seen before

Of the horse patiently waiting,

Outside the outhouse door.

I sometimes have strange visions,

Of many different things

But I just cannot imagine

A cowboy wearing wings.

He'll make the extra effort,

No matter time or cost,

To train a horse to help at gates,

So he don't need to get off.

Before he leaves his earthly bounds,

He'll say a prayer of course,

May God forbid a heaven,

Where there will not be a horse.

So when he leaves this old world,

Some other place to dwell,

Any place that has no horses,

For a cowboy would be hell! Cowboy's Revenge

By Mackay Brown

Maywood I was ridin' on home in the late afternoon,

The sun was hangin real low

The old horse was tired from a hard day's ride

And walking in pretty slow.

I was settin' relaxed as a hound in the sun

The reins were swinging with slack

Thinking about biscuits, coffee and beef

While I'm still on that old horse's back.

When out of the brush came an old turkey hen

You'd have sworn she had fire on her tail.

That old horse let out a blast of hot gas

and lit forty feet down the trail.

He slid me right out of the saddle

I was settin' clear back on his tail

Still holding one rein, holding on for dear life

But I knew my efforts would fail.

It's not very good for your ego

And it's pretty hard on your pride

After all these years in the saddle

Just to find you've forgot how to ride

I lit on my back in the sandburs

I'll admit it wasn't much fun

There was nobody looking and no bones were broke,

So I figured no harm was done.

Now when I slide up to the table

It takes beef to make me smile

But after this deal I decided

I'll eat turkey once in a while. The quality of all of the entries, including those from Mrs. Korus' fourth grade class at North Ward and Bryan Jones' seventh-graders at McCook Junior High, the judges were compelled to add an honorable mention category.

Receiving honorable mention were:

Wayne Mintling, Culbertson, "Royal Buffalo Hunt."

Melinda Haas, McCook, "A True Story For the Ages."

Kaye T. Smith, Cambridge, "I Like the Clowns the Best."

Brian Wright, Hamlet, "Max Goes to Town."

Nichole Eisenach, McCook, "Cowboy Stuff."

John Hubert, McCook, "Our Horse."