You might be a Liberal if.... Answered

I felt compelled to answer the blog posted by another blogger which attempts to completely confuse and anger people that may not actually know what a liberal is. More importantly to leave the charges unanswered would just be so un-me (no not technically a word but this is the blogosphere).

I have included the original blog with my statements bolded:

You might be a liberal if...

*You've had three abortions but you are so proud that you recycle aluminum cans. Here the user is trying to convince people that getting abortions for liberals is as routine as recycling. The truth, however, is the most liberals hate the idea of abortion as much as conservatives. Where we differ is the we believe that an individual woman has the right to at least the decision as to whether or not have an abortion. In the end it is between her, her doctor, and her god

*You believe Glenn Beck is a extremist because Keith Olbermann told you so.I could here go into a very long rant about all the misinformation Rush Limbaugh has espoused over the years but that is too easy and just too 90s. I do not personally believe (as most liberals) that Glenn Beck believes most of what he says. He is a shock jock that knows his audience so he plays to them

*You believe in the separation of Church and State; Mosque and State, not so much.This is one is just wild. I am assuming that the difference between Church and Mosque is the allusion in the belief that Liberals hate Christianity but love Islam. Seeing how one of the biggest lies of all time is "All Liberals are atheists" this would not work. Liberals believe in the separation of Church and State whether it be Christianity, Islam, Judaism, etc. We believe that Constitution protects the Church from the tyranny of the state and vice-versa.

*You believe that hurricanes are caused by people, and that crime is caused by the environment. I do not know which site originally came up with this statement but they should have spent a little more time with it because it just does not make any sense. If you can show me one person (liberal, conservative, whatever) that actually believes that hurricanes are caused by people then I will show you an evil genius. As for the crime part, what crime is being referenced?

*You believe that college students must protest the President, but never challenge anything the professor says.Again this comes from the magical world of make-believe. In college students are actually taught to challenge their professors. It is actually part of learning.

*You believe that African American, Gay and Women's Studies prepare young people for good careers, but a Biology major is an outdated relic of white misogynist domination. Along with the "All Liberals are atheists" comes the line "All Liberals believe in science as a religion". If that is true then why in the world would Liberals have anything bad to say about Biology? I know the crafters of these lines were trying to be funny but they could have at least made a little sense.

*You believe that meat is bad for you. So is milk. But marijuana gets you ready for your finals.No that would be straight up dope heads who believe that marijuana also helps them drive better.

*You believe that global cooling for the past ten years proves there is global warming.No we believe that wild climate changes over the past ten years proves climate change. At least keep up with the times and the jargon.

*You think that treating all people equally, regardless of race, is racist. Another make-believe world message. If you treat all people equally, regardless of race, then you are not a racist. If you treat an entire race of people differently because of their race, that is racist. Everyone clear on that?

*You burn tons of carbon to attend a global warming conference that sanctions the cleanest nation on Earth.I sure hope this is not a reference to the United States because we are not even in the realm of being the cleanest nation in the world. Until they invent a fuel that can run a jet that does not burn carbon people have little choice but to burn carbon.

*You think everyone would agree with you if they were open minded, and yet you refuse to listen to any other possibility.Well, yeah. That is a duh statement. No but that pretty much describes 100% of Congress don't you think?

*You believe that a mosque should be built at Ground Zero, but Jews shouldn't build apartments in their own capitol city of Jerusalem.Since there isn't a mosque being built at Ground Zero this is just a baseless and hateful comment directed at muslims. The situation in Jerusalem is a little more complex as that.

*You believe that prostitution empowers women, but having a man open the door for a woman is degrading.Make-believe land again. I doubt anyone could ever find anyone (again regardless of political ideology) that would make that bold a statement, except of course the original person who made the claim.

*Your dog is named Jeff, but your children are named Spot, Mogadishu and Apple.I really want to meet the mothers who named their children Spot.

*Your dog is smaller than your cat.How does this fit into ideology again? I am not a big fan of cats though, I have a house full of dogs. I guess according to the author of this quote I am not a liberal. Okay GI I will hand in my Liberal card on Friday.

*You believe that Western women suffer at the hands of men, but Islamic women are greatly respected.Yes that's why they are require to wear garments over 95% of their body. These guys are horrible at writing. By this point they obviously were not even trying anymore.

*If your political arguments contain the phrase, "It's Bush's fault."Of course the opposite of this is "You might be a conservative if your political arguments contain the phrase, "It's Clinton's fault.

*You believe that being Pro-Life violates right of privacy, but you want to tell people they can't eat french fries.Never heard this claim ever. I believe what they are confused with is telling a woman on her way into a doctor's office that her getting an abortion is sin is a violation of her privacy (whether she is going in to get an abortion or not). I say eat all the french fries you want but do not think for one second when your heart valves shut because of all the crap in them from friends that I am going to offer up any of my taxes to ensure that you get proper care!

*You believe that immersing a crucifix in urine is fine art, but depicting the Mohammad is insensitive.Where exactly did this happen? Art is one of those tricky subjects. My mother is an art teacher and I still don't get most of what people consider art. The whole depicting Mohammad thing was brought on by the Muslims, not liberals.

*You spend your day telling people that a border fence can't work, then drive home to your gated community.This is part of that whole mythical "Liberal elite" I keep hearing about isn't it? But hey as soon as that fence starts working let me know.

*The only time you use the word "choice" is when it comes to abortion. School Choice, or the choice to shop at Wal-Mart should be prevented.I do not recall anyone ever being told they can not shop at Wal-Mart. Heck, I am there every week.

*You think that men who are aroused by women's breasts are freaks, but homosexuality is completely normal.Again this is from make-believe land and if I should venture a guess seems to be authored by a homosexual to begin with.

*You think gay students should be allowed to publicly kiss in class, but Christians shouldn't be allowed to quietly pray during a break. During a break from what? I assume this is regarding the myth that prayer is not allowed in school. I have covered this many times as a teacher. It's a myth and not a very good one. Personally I do not like PDA whether it's from a straight, gay, or animal couple

*None of the Constitutional Rights you believe in are actually written in the Constitution. Could you name a few of these Constitutional Rights YOU BELIEVE that liberals believe. I'm fairly sure that my favorite amendment is in there. Yep lookie there right up front, First Amendment.

*You argue that teenagers can't control their sexual urges no matter what we do, but you think that child molesters and rapists can control themselves after counseling.Teenagers can't control their sexual urges and simply telling them to wait does absolutely nothing from stopping them from doing so. This does bring up and interesting question. Whoever wrote this obviously believed that telling teens not to do something will prevent them from doing so, but telling adults not to do something will not prevent them. Basically they believe teenagers to be more responsible than adults.

*You believe that four year old babies should be frisked at the airport because focusing on nervous young Arabs would be discriminatory.Who these writers have apparently just at this point handed over writing to a monkey. Who has ever suggested that a four year be frisked? That was not even worthy of being put on this list, as bad as this list is.

*You think that Hezbollah is a legitimate political party, but Republicans are just a bunch a racist haters who should never be exposed to college students.No argument there. Of course I am kidding. This is just plain childish at this point. We believe Hezbollah to be as legitimate as the Nazi Party (never mind that the majority of people voted for them in their country).

*You claim that you are not unpatriotic, but you can't remember that last time you sided with the United States ... on anything ... against any country.Actually I have and will always side with the United States. I may not support the decisions of my government but it will always be my country over another. I also know the difference between being patriotic and being uber-patriotic.

*Truth matters much less than feelings.Actually I agree with this one, so moving on

*You are more proud of Obama's race than of John McCain's refusal to leave his buddies behind in a Vietnamese prison.No I am proud of John McCain's record in the war, I am not proud of his record since the war and his reversal on torture. I am proud of Obama because his ideals are similar to me. Boy for people that keep saying that race has nothing to do with anything why would they bring race up in the first place.

*You believe that all recounts must continue until the Democrat takes the lead, and not a second longer.Actually the reverse of that happened in the 2000 presidential election. At least in that count we were angry over a couple of thousand votes and not declaring that a candidate that won by over 8.5 million votes somehow stole the election.

*You believe that Babs Streisand knows more about politics than Newt Gingrich. Ahh they finally hit comedy gold. Of course the fact that most people know more about politics than Newt Gingrich helps the joke.

*You believe that conservatives need to be rounded up and put into in camps to prevent them from acting like Nazis. Actually didn't Glenn Beck and Michelle Bachmann make those claims? Thought so. This is par for the course though. A conservative made a wild claim about a liberal so it must be true.

*You think that people are having too many kids, yet you need those kids to pay your government debts.Um, what? This doesn't even make sense. This must be the point where the monkey handed the keyboard over to the elephant.

*You think banks earning money on interest is wrong, but paying interest to China on the national debt is just peachy.Hey Bush did it so why can't we?

*If you ran low on your Valium the weekend Glenn Beck had the Restoring Honor Rally.Is there more to this statement? I mean who would have needed Valium anyways, Glenn Beck did well enough to put me to sleep.

*You claim Sarah Palin was too inexperienced to be VP but you have no problem thinking that the community agitator Obama had plenty of experience to be President.Hey at least the community agitator (or in grown-up land also known as organizer) knew what the President did. If you feel comfortable voting for someone to be VP who didn't even know what the office did, then that's your hang up.

*You really want to travel to India to study spiritualism there, but you wouldn't be caught dead in a church here in America.And the "All liberals are atheists" meme rears its ugly head again.

*You claim that Math tests are racist, but there is nothing racist about blacks being admitted over more qualified white applicants.This is a new one for me. Actually, since you obviously have no idea what affirmative action was it was designed so that the most qualified person was hired not just simply based on race. The fact that some agencies took it too far is unfortunately a fact of life. The idea failed, but at least we are trying. What have you done lately?

*You work to ensure that People should be allowed to euthanize themselves, but not to eat in McDonald's. Who is this People that this person is talking about. They must be as omnipotent as God or as important as a president. Seriously though, if people want to eat at McDonald's that's their choice. My choice is the #6 no onions, no pickles, with a coke.

*You think that Black dominance in basketball is progress, but white dominance in swimming is an outrage.Okay here in adult time there is a lot of confusion on this statement because I for one have never hear either part of this phrase. The giraffe must have the pen now.

*You think that Europe became great because of Islamic influences. Personally I believe Europe became great because of every influence. That's just me. Same goes for the United States.

*You cry about racial profiling yet you think that all serial killers are white and all Mexicans are hard working family men. Yes and you think all Mexicans are illegals and all blacks kill people. See how seriously immature both statements are? Let's forget for a second that the vast majority of serial killers are indeed white and that the vast majority of Mexicans are hard working family men, what exactly is the point of this statement?

*You think that anytime a Western woman travels to the Middle East, she should respect their Islamic traditions and cover up. As Muslims have illegally infiltrated Europe, you think they have the right to expect Westerners to adjust to them, or the Muslims should riot.Okay really the seal really needs to rephrase this statement. I have a feeling that the seal was combining thoughts at the last second. It's funny though, you believe that all foreigners coming into this country should obey our customs and learn our language but we don't own them the same when we go to their country? Can you tell me why this does not work. Muslims illegally infiltrated Europe? Really? So the fact that Muslims were in Europe long before most the countries in Europe were formed means nothing to you?

*You believe that Counseling is the proper punishment for all crimes except sexual harassment and racism.The seal is having real issues writing. This statement makes no sense. In reality all crimes should have counseling as part of the recovery.

*If you really believe that Barack Obama has the best interests of the United States in his heart.Remember a few stanzas up where you were talking about being unpatriotic if you don't support the United States? You don't? Well then this stanza makes absolute sense. If you don't believe that our president doesn't have the best interests of this country in his heart, do you mind if I go ahead and call you one of the most unpatriotic people I have ever met? Are you that partisan that you would actually suggest that a president was trying to undermine this country? This is a serious accusation yet I know with no doubt in my mind that you are hee-hawing thinking this is just a gas of a joke. I don't think it's funny, most people don't think it's funny. Liberals did not think this of Bush (you can protest all you want but it's true). Did we believe he made some serious mistakes and missteps? Absolutely. We NEVER once questioned his love for his country, though. Sadly that's more than I can say for you

*You believe the government can run health care even though they have bankrupted Medicare and Social Security. Since Medicare and Social Security are not broke and are in no danger of going broke than yes I believe that the government can run health care.

Most of these were somewhat funny. The one about Babs and Newt still cracks me up every time I read it. As for the questioning of where President Obama's heart is, I take that seriously. I do not know where the original quote came from but it is absolutely disgusting and appalling. You may not agree with his policies, that's fine. He may not agree with his ideologies, that too is fine. When you question the man's heart though is where I draw the line. I do not often tell people that what they believe is wrong. I will argue with them as to why what I believe may have more merit, but in this case I will say. If you question where President Obama's heart is, especially when it comes to this great country of ours I will tell you straight to your face that YOU ARE WRONG