Appreciating the phases of life

As I write this, I am in the middle of chaperoning an 8th-grade field trip for my youngest child, likely my last field trip.

For 12 years, we have visited the same religious sisters, slept at the same retreat house and wandered around the Unicameral, still getting lost after all the trips to visit our state senator. But it is coming to an end, at least with my own child in tow.

The “last time” happens throughout your life but seems to happen more frequently as we age and as our children grow up. Or at least we seem to acknowledge and take note of those lasts as we get older.

And there have been many “lasts” recently. Last junior high track meet as my kids move into new activities. Last music concert after 23 years of standing along the back wall in the same gym. Or the last time searching for a green polo shirt that fits because the shirt was oversized last month but now looks like a crop top because your child has grown three inches in the past two weeks.

Some of those lasts are ones we don’t choose. Like the last time our kids willingly give us a hug without a grimace on their faces. Or the last time we see our parents, perhaps not knowing it was the last time.

Other lasts we unknowingly choose. Like the last time we see our college friends as we start our families and our jobs in different parts of the country and eventually lose touch.

But all of these lasts are bittersweet. It seems like just yesterday that I was sitting through church with a crying baby on my lap and a toddler pulling at my sleeve, thinking the hour would never come to an end. Now, I sit behind families with several small children, empathizing with the struggle of squirming little people but not wishing to go back to that time.

When people ask me if I would want another baby (and yes, it happens often), I acknowledge that those young years brought a lot of joy (and a lot of tears) but that time has passed. I am looking forward to the next phase of my life, whether it includes traveling, writing a book, or doting on grandchildren - which unlike your own children - you get to spoil and then return.

It is important to recognize the new opportunities as a new phase approaches.

I am no longer spending my hours just trying to keep a little person alive, which is what many of my days for two decades seemed like.

With my kids now fairly self-sufficient, this allows more time for other activities, other passions, other projects. It is the time to figure out what we will do with the upcoming decades not filled with children’s sports and activities. I am sure some of those days will be filled with pickleball - too many hours most likely, although most die-hard pickleballers will say that is impossible.

As we move into the next phase of our lives, we need to take a moment to look around and determine what is important, how do we want to fill our days now, what do we want to accomplish over the next few years or decades.

It is often said that the days are long but the years are short. I remember sitting through class in high school, just watching the second hand slowly tick around the industrial clock on the wall. These days, I can’t remember hours, days, even weeks because they fly by so quickly.

And time will only seem to move faster, so it is even more important to note of this phase of life and to appreciate what can and are able to do.

Perhaps this is the time you are chasing small children from one activity to another. That is a great phase to be in.

Perhaps you are chasing an idea you have dreamed of for years. That is a great phase to be in.

Perhaps you are chasing a dream you just came up with last night but know it is what you are meant to do. That is a great phase to be in.

None of these phases are perfect. None of these phases are bad. We simply need to appreciate the phase we are in at this point of our lives.

While this field trip will quickly come to an end, I know that if asked, I will tag along on a field trip in the future, just because I know the best trampoline parks and where to park a bus in downtown Lincoln.

But we must also appreciate the new opportunities which come with each phase of life. And for some, that may be going on their first field trip. It may be going on their last field trip. Or who knows? It may be starting their new career organizing trips for others, using all their experience gleaned from their last phase of life and appreciating where they are right now.