Insomnia

It is 2 am, and I can’t sleep. Insomnia has a way of letting the mind wander in wonder, if this will make any sense in the light of day or if I will need to delete it as the fruit of a sleep-deprived mind? Maybe I will let its readers decide?”

“I am...”

I am what I am and that’s all that I am, and I am not Popeye the Sailor man; nor am I “The Great I am”; nor would I want to be either one.

But sometimes I wish I was more than I am. But I know He is the Potter and I am just the clay, how dare I even ask why he made me this way?

In Jeremiah 18, The Potter smashes the clay and reshapes it when it does not conform in his hands. Any rebellious child of God knows what that feels like, to be that lump of clay.

And yet, Hebrews 12:5-6, “My child, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his child.” So with that, I am thankful he cared to discipline me, it means I am his child. Though I feel like smashed clay and no discipline feels good at the time...

Hebrews 12:11

“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”

But, I see those who appear to be clay that was molded perfectly to the master’s touch, never smashed. Born in an affluent family, surrounded by professional people to nurture, encourage and raise up opportunities to use developed skills and talent for the Kingdom of God. Loved and encouraged in their family, so easy for them to believe in a Good Heavenly Father, for this is all they have ever known.

Yes, most of us would have preferred a privileged life like that, with opportunities in a loving, supportive, protective, providing family. Then, how easy it would be to believe that God is like that, too!

Pure good fortune on their part. Hard knocks for the rest of us. But none of us “pots”, neither them nor us, got to choose. Only the potter.

Why does God offer an easy molding life on a silver platter to a few and the others go through the smashing and reshaping?

And yet, for whatever reason He decided the world needed a few of both? So here we are.

I have heard it said those who do much for the Kingdom here, already have their reward, from the accolades of their admirers in this lifetime. And those who do seemingly little will get great rewards in Heaven for they were not noticed on earth much.

I have also read, that however much one is faithful with here on earth, even more, will be given to do in eternity.

Works do not save anyone, but those who are saved want to invest our faith in doing good deeds. We all just want our time here on earth to amount to something that will endure, last and be profitable for the Kingdom of God and bring Him the Glory.

We might be surprised when we get to Heaven to find out all that we did, that was no big deal to him; and the one little thing that was no big deal to us, meant a great deal to Him!