Living without regret

As a runner and a biker, there are days when you simply don’t want to lace up those shoes or pump up your tires. But even on those days that are a struggle, rarely - if ever - have I finished and regretted not doing the ride or going for that run.

No one finishes and says, “I wish I hadn’t done that.”

That doesn’t just apply to exercise but to life.

One of my favorite quotes is from Hunter S. Thompson: “Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a ride.”

At the end of our lives, do we want to be filled with regret of the things we didn’t do, the places we didn’t visit, the things we didn’t say? Or do we want to be intentional about telling those close to us that we love them, about stopping at those places we usually pass by in a hurry, about reaching out to those who may be lonely and just need a simple hello?

Over the past few months, I’ve attended more funerals than in recent memory. Combine that with the close friends who are struggling with severe medical conditions and I freely admit that I’m not handling it well.

Sometimes it takes situations like those to knock us over the head and remind us that we are not promised tomorrow. We never know when it will be the last time you are able to talk to someone in person, when it will be the last time you will be able to do something, when it will be the last time you will have a chance to say something and make a difference.

Last weekend, I met up a friend from college. Sure, we sent Christmas cards to each other so we could watch our children grow taller. We liked each other’s posts on Facebook and made the supportive comments.

But we hadn’t met up in person in more than two decades, since she was in my wedding and soon after when I was in her wedding.

Last fall to celebrate our 25th anniversary, my husband and I met up with the best man from our wedding. Again, we hadn’t seen him since he was in our wedding and we were in his wedding.

What happened? Life happened.

As the saying goes, the days go slowly but the years fly by. In both instances, we all got busy with spouses, with jobs, with kids, with soccer practices and baseball games.

So whether intentionally or if the opportunity falls into our laps, I am taking every chance I can to reconnect with those who have been or should be a part of our lives. After all, it is never too late or too often to reach out to those who have made an impact on your life.

And it doesn’t have to be expensive or time-consuming.

A simple thank-you card or “thinking of you” letter is sure to brighten anyone’s day. Maybe it is just a quick email to let someone know you are thinking of them. Maybe you stumble across an old picture as you are cleaning a cabinet and you text the picture just for a giggle.

Maybe it is just taking a moment to tell someone that you value their friendship Maybe it is just pausing at the check-out stand to let the worker know you appreciate them being there.

Maybe it is speaking up for others who don’t a voice.

Very rarely, do we regret going out of our way to make someone else happy or to let them know we are thinking of them. Very rarely, do we regret slowing down and taking in the moment. Very rarely, do we regret intentionally doing something we’ve always wanted to see or do.

Instead, we regret what we didn’t do, what we didn’t say, what we didn’t take time for, who we didn’t take time for. In the end, we don’t want to regret what we didn’t do, because you never know when it will be the “last time.”