Neuroscience, Fiona and upcoming personalities

An Emory University study published in the journal “Frontiers in Neuroscience” in 2018 demonstrated that dogs are indeed able to understand human language. The dogs’ cognitive abilities were measured by using specific verbal phrases, measured by MRI scans. The study indicated, in an objective fashion, that dogs recognize our words. Who didn’t know that?

My doggy controls about 4,000 square feet of backyard, plus a Broyhill sofa and pretty much any room of the house she chooses. We are doggy-door people, and she comes and goes as she wishes. She has, nonetheless, established an extended visual perimeter like the Marines at Da Nang. Having done so, she has visual access far beyond her own territory and has employed an advanced, audible warning system for any potential intruders, thereby ensuring our safety from mailmen, utility workers and the dreaded trash truck.

My Fiona is also a dedicated environmentalist. She has developed a system of distributing nitrogen on the lawn without the use of any artificial fertilizers. Like an advanced agricultural global positioning system, she, and only she, deposits those products in the areas where they are most needed. Smart dog.

She also seems to be infatuated with Mikasa flatware. While she carefully conserves her energy for alarming us of potential threats, she takes time out of her nap schedule, three times per day, to carefully watch, carefully focused with big brown eyes, every movement from plate to mouth. She’s that interested in flatware.

On a different note, I am reluctant to discuss the recent breach of security at the Capitol and the resultant impeachment. There are a number of things that don’t quite add up with me and I have more questions than answers. I don’t want to foment conspiracy theories, but I have substantial concerns. We can address those in future weeks.

What I do know is that we are entering a new era in American politics. As I have mentioned before in these pages, political science 101 teaches us that one of the differences of our system of government with the United Kingdom is that, on the other side of the pond, they separate their ceremonial head of state from their functional head of state. We combine the two into one individual.

Ironically, we are transitioning from an administration where our leader as a ceremonial head of state was a train wreck, but I liked his actions as a functional head of state. He pulled us out of silly treaties and extracted us from unproductive wars. He was generally good for the economy. Now we are moving to precisely the opposite. I have every confidence that Uncle Joe will conduct himself with dignity and comportment as the ceremonial head of state. He will be every bit the statesman that Mr. Trump was not. Unfortunately, it’s a package deal, and he is surrounded by folks whose policies scare the bejeebers out of me.

Both the Senate and the House are now controlled by Chuck and Nancy and the Ocasio-Cortez Cabal. There is absolutely nothing to stop them. Hunter Bidon is the new Kato Kaelin and as for Kamala Harris, I can only think of Richard Nixon saying that Spiro Agnew was his insurance against assassination. Recall, of course, that Mr. Biden pledged to make Beto O’Rourke his gun Tsar, who famously said, “Hell yes, we’re going to take your AR-15, your AK-47.”

On principle, I stand with the second amendment, but that doesn’t affect me personally. All of my guns were lost when my sailboat capsized at the deep end of Red Willow lake.

They will probably never be found, but if someone out there has one of those big magnets, I’ll be pleased to offer a reward.

In the meantime, we make the best of it. We are a resilient country and we have been through worse. Stay well.