One of those weeks

Sociologists have a phrase they like to use when explaining human behavior. It’s called front stage and back stage behavior. Front stage behavior means the behavior and attitude we show to others and back stage behavior is the behavior and attitude we either keep to ourselves or is shown to a very select group of people. The reason for that, the experts say, is self-protection. We want to project an image to others of self-confidence and someone in control of their own destiny rather than someone who is afraid of the next bad thing happening. But the truth is the next bad thing happens to all of us from time to time and how we manage it is influenced directly buy the confidence we have in ourselves.

My two boys are in a state of flux right now because they’re both undergoing changes in their career path. After graduating with a B.A. and M.A. in secondary social studies instruction, Michael decided that he was much better at teaching younger kids than older ones so he’s spent this summer in an intensive elementary education workshop to qualify for that degree. Everyone who knows Michael knows he’s one of the most caring people in the world but he’s not filled with over-confidence. In fact, he’s usually lacking in it. His mother and I don’t know where that came from because we’re both outgoing, confident people but where he got it doesn’t really matter. He has to be nurtured along and constantly reaffirmed that he’s not only doing well but that he’s doing the right thing too. He completed his summer school training yesterday and called me as soon as it was over to tell me he passed and he’s already accepted an elementary education job at a school in Tulsa. Like I told him and like a lot of parents feel, I was wrapped up in what he was doing, hoping beyond hope that he would be successful at it. Thankfully he was.

I doubt there are two brothers as different as Michael and Will. Will has always been the captain of his own ship and exudes supreme confidence in everything he does. He just completed his 10th year with a major financial institution, only to find out that working from home, which he’s been doing for almost the whole ten years, was being phased out and his option was to take an in-office job in Dallas, Texas. Will and his wife Erica just built a house a few months ago, thinking his job was secure forever and so neither of them wanted to move from Fayetteville, Arkansas to Dallas Texas. But Will was willing to give it a try so he went to Dallas for a week at his company’s expense to try out the new lifestyle and didn’t like it at all. So rather than staying with the institution he’s been married to for the last ten years, he decided to take a generous severance package from them including his normal salary through September while he looked for another job in the Fayetteville area. He’s not nearly as worried about it as dear old dad is, having complete faith that he will find something that suits he and his wife’s lifestyle and based on his history, I don’t doubt that he will. But the dad in me worries just the same until that job is found.

Finally, I came home one day earlier this week to discover the air conditioner in my apartment wasn’t working. It wasn’t working on what will probably be recalled later as the hottest week of the year and perhaps the hottest week ever since today’s maximum temperature is supposed to top out at a sweltering 106 degrees.

But my apartment manager was on the scene right way, doing what he needed to do to get the A/C fixed. But there was a 24 hour period when he wasn’t sure that could be done right away which necessitated me trying to sleep at night when the apartment thermostat read over 90 degrees. That’s the most uncomfortable I’ve been physically in a long time and I wasn’t sure how long it was going to be that way. Apartment managers are either praised or criticized by the decisions they make and why they make them and ours has certainly experienced both sides of that coin. But in my case, the situation couldn’t have been handled any better and when I returned home yesterday afternoon, instead of walking into a blast furnace, I walked into a summer breeze because the air conditioner had been repaired. My apartment manager went above and beyond the call of duty to take care of my problem and I shall always be grateful to him for doing that.

So we all have problems that most of us don’t share with others. There’s an old rock and roll song that talks about crying on the inside while laughing on the outside and I know that description fits all of us from time to time. Hopefully, it doesn’t fit us for long and our lives are much more cheerful than sad.

But we really don’t have much control over that either!