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Speaker: Suicide doesn't discriminate
McCOOK, Neb. — To his friends, Sylvia’s young son started talking about suicide in seventh grade. To his parents, his answer to everything was, “I don’t care.”
Sylvia’s son died by suicide as a freshman in high school.
It is in memory of Colton, who will forever be 14 years old, that Sylvia Alcorn of Wray, Colo., speaks to teens and young adults about suicide. “It’s a serious subject for kids,” she admits, but she hopes to reach the one in five 15-24-year-olds who every year seriously considers committing suicide, and to give others in the same age group the tools to help possibly prevent a suicide.
As the guest speaker at the Family, Career and Community Leaders of America District 11 fall leadership conference Wednesday in McCook, Sylvia explained the “Yellow Ribbon Suicide Prevention Program” started 24 years ago by the surviving family and friends of Michael Emme. Emme was a 17-year-old who drove his dream car, a restored canary yellow ‘68 Ford Mustang, and who took his own life when he felt he couldn’t ask for help. Sylvia told FCCLA members that Michael’s family and her family want everyone to know, “It’s okay to ‘Ask4Help’.”
Sylvia told the high school students in her audience that suicide does not discriminate. Anyone from age 15 to 24 — the popular, the outgoing or quiet, the young alcoholic, the athletic, the drug abuser — can feel overloaded by the stresses at that time of life, a time when the rational part of the human brain isn’t fully developed, and won’t be until age 25. On average, 12 teens and young adults in that age group will commit suicide each year, Sylvia said. It is the second highest cause of death of young people.
But, the thing is, Sylvia says, suicide isn’t always about death. It’s often the cry for help … it’s about stopping the pain.
Sylvia says it’s a myth that talking about suicide will spur thoughts, or increase thoughts, of suicide in others, and that only professionals can help.
The Yellow Ribbon program emphasizes that bullying and harassment, which lead to feelings of despair and hopelessness, cannot be ignored; and that more than 80 percent of clinical depression (when brain chemicals such as serotonin get out of balance) can be treated.
Sylvia pointed out “stressors” and risk factors that lead to thoughts of suicide: school, parents, teachers, coaches, work, money, dating/relationships, troubles with the law, body image, drug/alcohol use, being bullied, and feelings of being alone.
Warning signs of a person’s poor handling of stressors include: talking about death and/or suicide, wanting to die, feeling hopeless, withdrawing from activities, giving away special possessions, increased use of alcohol and/or drugs, and struggling with gender identity/sexual orientation.
“Girls get sad … boys get angry,” Sylvia explained.
“Stacking” only makes things worse, Sylvia said. Stacking is just that: One stressor/risk factor stacked on top of another … and another … and another. “More stacking … more thoughts of suicide,” Sylvia said.
“Some event may look to others like a single pressure, or a single incident,” she said. “But to someone considering suicide, it is often ‘the last straw’ of ongoing problems with stressful situations and/or depression. The more warning signs and stressors/risk factors, the greater the risk of a suicide attempt or suicide.”
For teens and young adults recognizing their own warning signs and considering suicide, Sylvia recommends:
—Talking to parents or trusted adults. Seek professional help.
— Listen to music.
— Journal your feelings.
— Laugh; keep your sense of humor.
— Get plenty of sleep.
— Get or stay involved in school and/or church activities.
— Exercise, which raises endorphins that help you feel better.
— Turn to, or return to your spirituality.
— Eat right. Know that chocolate raises serotonin levels, whose imbalance can cause or worsen clinical depression.
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Peers are capable of recognizing the warning signs in their friends, Sylvia said, sometimes even better than parents are.
She explained the Yellow Ribbon approach to helping someone who might be considering or attempting suicide:
— Stay with the person. Most suicides are committed alone, Sylvia says. If there is a risk of harm to yourself, leave and contact an adult immediately.
— Listen. Really listen. Don’t be judgmental, don’t belittle or ridicule. This is not a joke. Take the possibility seriously. It’s okay to say, “What can I do to help you?”
— Don’t promise not to tell. “Don’t promise secrecy,” Sylvia says. “Speak up.” Call your parents or his/her parents.
— Get or call for help immediately from a trusted adult. That trusted adult — teacher, family friend, school counselor, coach, bus driver, clergy person, doctor, grandparents — will call a qualified professional.
— The “Yellow Ribbon” card — which Sylvia recommends carrying all the time — has the contact number for the national suicide prevention hotline (800) 273-TALK (8255). Or Text “HELP” to 741741.
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Adults, schools and organizations wanting to know more about the Yellow Ribbon Suicide Prevention Program are asked to call (303) 429-3530 in Westminster, Colo., or go to www.yellowribbon.org or ask4help@yellowribbon.org
The Yellow Ribbon has two sides: One side reads, “If you have received this card, it is a cry for help.” It tells how to help someone considering suicide, and includes the suicide prevention contact numbers.
The other side is for a person considering suicide who fears he/she doesn’t have the words to ask for help. It says, “This Ribbon is a Lifeline: It carries the message that there are those who care and will help! If you are in need and don’t know how to ask for help, take this card to a counselor, teacher, clergy, doctor, parent or friend, and say, ‘I NEED TO USE MY YELLOW RIBBON’.”
Sylvia concludes her presentation: “There is no expiration date on a Yellow Ribbon.”