What to expect when you're expecting — teenage girl edition

Just a few tidbits of what to expect for those moms with little girls that will eventually grow up into teenage girls, the stuff they left out in the pregnancy books:

* Boys have the ability to ruin her day or make her day the best ever in a matter of seconds. Sometimes both results in the very same day. Be prepared for either! Be a supporter in either situation.

* Shower when you see an opening. Don’t wait! Wait too long and no hot water so you may have to wait till way past your bedtime to finally shower. See a gap in the action, take advantage!

* Be prepared to buy lots of smelling goods. Lotions, hand sanitizers, car fresheners, candles, perfumes, whatever. They’re addicted to floofy smells and have to have a nice collection.

* Girl drama is unavoidable and WILL happen. Impossible to be happy, nicey friends nonstop. Don’t freak out and overreact at every instance. Use the moments as learning lessons and be ready to guide her, then let time do the healing.

* Keep at least 8 bottles of different kinds of shampoos, conditioners, body washes and shaving creams in the bathroom cabinet as backup. And consider buying stock in some of those! Help pay for college tuition. It’s impressive how fast they can blow through those things. Seriously! And don’t buy the same kind every time. That’s boring. Remember, floofy smells! Mix it up.

* Open your own clothing boutique. It’ll be cheaper since you can order bulk clothes at cost. Then, next to that store, open a Consignment store to sell their used clothes and shoes. Plus then you can have them work at your stores so they have a job and you don’t have to hire anyone. Win win! Big regret of mine.

* Consider quitting whatever career you’re currently in and go to Beauty school. I’m not kidding. Learn how to cut and color hair, do nails and wax eyebrows. You don’t have to run your own salon but then you got all those needs covered. Plus, Prom and Homecoming prep is done! Coming from a mom who can barely braid, trust me on this one!

* Make sure you have a nice arrangements of speakers put around your house. Girls like to have some good tunes blaring, pretty much when they’re doing anything. Showering, cooking, homework, hanging with friends, getting ready for a football game, you name it. If you don’t have the speakers in place, they will figure out a way to drag that sound anywhere they are. Promise!

* If they say one thing one month, that could change the next month. If she says she loves dance or loves a certain song, or a certain boy, don’t carve that in stone. Next month, she might hate all those things. Try and keep up but don’t get offended if she changes her mind 100 times. Just roll with it!

* If you’re lucky enough to have a teenage daughter that will share and talk with you, still don’t believe everything she tells ya. She’s probably being 80% honest but there’s always that 20% she wants to either keep private or is downplayed for fear of disappointing you. If you ever find out the 20%, don’t be shocked. No teenager is 100% innocent so expect that your sweet baby girl will look you in the eye, lie straight to your face then hug you and tell you she loves you. And those parents that disagree with me and will defend their child to no end, are foolish and have forgotten what it was like to be a teenager. Just sayin.....

Okay, so not quite a child rearing book for the shelves of Barnes and Noble, but just a few warnings for ya.... Wish you the best!