Unanswered prayers

Garth Brooks had a hit song several years back that dealt with the topic of this week’s column. In the song was a line, “Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers” because the song was about a lost love he had grieved over for some time until he found a new love that was much better than the one he had lost.

I think all of us go through situations like that when we want something so bad we can taste it and we’re certain that if we can get it, it will make us happy for the rest of our lives. Of course, if we DON’T get it, we spend a lot of time grieving over it, convinced that our lives would have been so much better if we had it but sometimes we DO get it and find out it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.

We have many forks in the road of life that not only changes the direction we’re going but sometimes changes our whole life, for better or worse. And when we get to one of those forks, there’s no manual that has been written ahead of time that tells us which one to take. There are guidelines of course in the form of norms, morals and values that suggest what we should do but sometimes our desire for something new or exciting overwhelm the lessons we’ve been taught.

So people change schools, jobs, friendships and marriages because the grass looks greener on the other side, sometimes risking everything they’ve worked for up until then for something brand new. It’s an understandable emotion because people get bored with the same old thing in their lives day after day. Most of us like new things, exciting things, things out of the ordinary, sometimes things even forbidden because those things make us feel alive. That’s why Type A personalities do the things they do. The risk-takers like skydivers, mountain climbers and daredevil skiers that put their lives and their safety in jeopardy every time they participate in an event because they say it’s the only time they really feel alive.

Most of us don’t need to cheat death to feel alive but we still make risky choices within our own lifestyles because we’re looking for something that will make us feel more alive than our old choices. Even though our time on earth is short, being married to a job, a house, a town or a person for 50 years or more takes a toll on a lot of people. Some are perfectly satisfied with a predictable life with no changes or surprises but others aren’t and if things aren’t happening within that person’s life to give them the change and excitement they desire, they’ll look for it somewhere else.

In terms of judging, I don’t think that’s a bad thing OR a good thing. It’s just a thing that some people have to do and sometimes it works out for them and sometimes it doesn’t. We’re far too quick to judge someone else’s life anyhow when our own is never to the point that it can’t be improved. But we do it because it’s much easier to judge someone else than it is to change ourselves. On top of that, very few of us know what’s going on inside a person’s mind that compels them to do what they do. We only see the act which is superficial but we seldom ever see what caused the act which is internal and typically closely guarded by the person committing the act.

One thing I know for sure is that we all seek happiness, every minute of every day, even though most of us don’t obtain it. It’s what we want and desire more than anything because it’s the only thing that makes us feel truly alive. Some become so disillusioned with not finding it that they quit looking for it and we typically know who those people are because of their negative attitudes toward others.

But others never give up searching for it and if they’re lucky, some will find it.