Those seven dreaded words

“Are you goin to the store today?” That’s the question that comes out of my teenagers' mouths at least once a week. “Why?” is usually the response I give them, instead of a yes or no, because inevitably, either they want something or they forget to tell me they need something for school. Most of the time, they just want something, like some new type of sea salt, parmesan snack crackers that their friends had on the bus that are SOOO good or they saw some dumb, new gel fingernail polish online that they wanna try.

Here’s the deal. When they ask that question, I cringe, because first, I basically loathe going to the grocery store. Seriously. It’s no fun anymore because I’m always on a time limit and the store is always full during daylight hours and I’m too dang tired to go at night. So….if I don’t “have” to go to the store because we are literally out of all the basic necessities, then I don’t “want” to go to the store. Ever! At this stage in my life, I would rather pay someone to go to the store for me, then go myself. If only I could justify paying someone to shop for me.

Then, second, I certainly don’t want to go to the store and leisurely browse the gel nail polish or check out all the new flavors of snack crackers. My goal these days, when going to the grocery store is to get in and get out. Make a list, then find 30-45 minute time frame I can fit it in, then go! Park in the closest spot I can for easy access, have the list out and ready, find the perfect cart with the quick wheels, then pick up each item on the list starting from the north end of the store and work my way south till all items are retrieved. I kid you not. It’s a very calculated venture. That’s how I do it. And when I’m almost to the end on the south side and look at my list and realize I forgot an item on the north side, I either say forget it and scratch it completely, or sigh a big sigh and drag myself back to the other side of the store mad that I’m wasting time.

And thirdly, sometimes they ask that question because they’re about to say the dreaded, “Well, we don’t have anything to eat.” Which actually means we don’t have anything THEY want to eat. There’s stuff but nothing new or fancy or premade. There are leftovers, there’s frozen stuff, there are the ingredients to make a number of things and plenty of chips and salsa and all kinds of fruit and whatnots but if it’s the same stuff they saw the day before and the day before that, they wanna know when I’m going to the store. What I want to say is, “Eat the junk we have and then maybe I’ll go to the store!” Because, man, I really don’t wanna go!