And the beat goes on

This week two more prominent men were accused of inappropriate sexual touching or sexual harassment as the list continues to grow. Mark Halperin, a journalist and author of Game Change, a book about Sara Palin’s failed bid for the Vice-Presidency, has been accused by five women of inappropriate touching and sexual misconduct along with former President George H.W. Bush, who is now 93 and has been confined to a wheelchair for the past five years. Three women have issued complaints about him and one, an author, said that Bush put his arm around her and asked her if she knew what his favorite book was. When she replied she didn’t, he said “David Cop-a-feel” and then firmly grabbed her buttocks.

So two more prominent men have been added to the growing list of important men who have acted or spoken inappropriately to women and I’m certain there will be more as women become more emboldened to come forward.

So what’s going on here? Is this harmless fun by the men or reckless and perhaps even criminal behavior? Obviously, men and women see these acts differently.

Powerful men believe they have male privilege to behave and speak however they want to women. Even men who FEEL powerful display the same behavior. It’s not unusual for me to witness this on an almost daily basis when men tell sexually oriented jokes to women or make unsolicited sexual comments or observations to women. They believe they have a right to do that and that women should “lighten up” and enjoy the moment with them.

Some women do but many do not. Those who object to this kind of behavior feel they have been either physically or emotionally violated and that men don’t have the right to do those kinds of things without their permission. Men tend to reject women displaying this perspective and often call the women “prudes” or some other derogatory name indicating the women have no sense of humor.

But here’s something we’ve known to be true for a long time. The sex drive is the strongest drive men and women have because it’s absolutely necessary if we’re going to keep the human race alive. The desire to procreate is present in practically every human being driven by testosterone in men and estrogen in women and although it declines as people age, it never goes away, as indicated by the 93-year-old former president’s behavior mentioned earlier.

On the other hand, there’s a difference between thought and behavior. We can think all kinds of things but actually act on few of them. Men and women share bizarre sexual fantasies that most aren’t acted on. Researchers tell us that most human beings at some point in their lives have the urge to actually kill another person and while some act on that desire, most don’t.

It seems that’s where we are with the concept of sexual harassment. Most of us don’t intentionally do things we know will insult or hurt someone else unless we just don’t care. We also know there are some women who are considered to be just “one of the guys” because they can handle anything that’s said among members of the group and are respected by the guys in the crowd because they can.

But it’s important to know the difference. Even though the current President of the United States has admitted to sexually groping females because he believes people in power can get away with anything they want, inappropriate sexual touching is illegal in most jurisdictions and is defined as being a criminal offense a person can be jailed for.

So regardless of where one stands on this topic, a “buyer beware” warning should always be remembered because one could end up being prosecuted for something you’ve said or done, even when your intent was not to offend because there’s no way “not intending to offend” can be proven in a court of law.

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I met a man this week who was in town to get his truck repaired. He said he lives in Nebraska but is close enough to Kansas that he can throw a rock and hit it. His name is Jim Redfern and told me that although he’s sure a lot of people don’t like some of the things I write about, his mother generally does so a warm welcome goes out to Mr. Redfern and his mom.