Senior moments

Well that was a toughy! Went through my first Senior Picture session last Sunday with my firstborn. Wow! What an amazing but emotional experience that was! I had been warned by other Senior moms of how it might go. Some moms warned me that it would be stressful and nerve-racking and that we’d probably end up fighting by the time it was all over. Other moms warned me that I would be bawling the whole time so prepare myself and don’t embarrass my daughter. So going into it, I made the decision, I wouldn’t get stressed out and I wouldn’t cry, no matter what. I was going to soak up the moment!

And that I did! I loved every minute of it and I only fought back tears twice. Not too bad, considering the significance of these pictures. As I stood in the background watching the photographer taking pictures, my heart just melted at the sight of my baby girl standing out there looking like a beautiful young woman. As sappy as this sounds, it felt a little like it was one step towards letting her go. Not sure why but I felt a tug that couldn’t be explained. I just couldn’t help but stare at her and think to myself that the next time she takes pictures like this, it will be engagement pictures. Then wedding and so on….

Geesh, I still clearly remember the newborn photo session her and I took almost 18 years ago. I remember the photographer showing me a few, unedited camera screen shots of her before we left the studio that day and thinking what a beautiful baby she was. I was in awe then and couldn’t wait to see the final products. And now here I am, all these years later, and feeling the exact same way. There were some moments that I was literally in awe, which is the only way to describe it and I seriously can’t wait to see her final pictures.

Thankfully, there were a lot of outfit changes and location changes and 100 things to have ready for the session so I was mostly busy the whole time shuffling her to places and helping her get ready in the backseat. That kept my mind focused so I didn’t have too much time to reminisce and kept my emotions at bay. She, on the other hand, wasn’t weepy at all. She loved the session and enjoyed every minute of it! Got her makeup professionally done for the first time and liked getting dressed up in new outfits and getting to be a model for a day. I was so glad she was happy and having fun! It’ll be a great memory for her!

However, as happy as I was too, as soon as we got home at the end of the day, I could feel my emotions starting to peak and I was hoping I could keep it together and not melt into a crying mess. Hubby asked me how it went and I carried on and on how wonderful it was and that he’s gonna be shocked at how amazing the pictures are going to be, but once I was able to find a few minutes alone, I could feel my heart burning and a lump in my throat. I just took a deep breath, sighed and then silently thanked God for the whole experience; the good weather, the blessing of an amazing photographer and for blessing me with my daughter and the life we’ve shared these last 18 years.

I know it’s super sappy but I feel like there are several more of these Senior moments coming up this year so I hope I can enjoy them all as much as I enjoyed Senior pictures!