The 'Plan'

Ya know, for the past 3 years I’ve been totally on board with my oldest daughter’s college plan, which was after high school graduation, go to the local community college for the first two years, live at home and then transfer to the big University out of town for the remaining two years. Good plan! Saves a ton of money and would be an easy transition into college, as well as into adulthood before throwing her 18-year-old, small town, innocent self onto a giant campus. Totally on board!

When she started high school, I took comfort in the fact that she planned to remain close to home after she graduated and I wouldn’t have to add shipping her off to some other city to my worry list. The thought of sending my little 14-year-old off in the future, to some strange city with predators lurking in every corner, was terrifying. Staying home would be perfect! Even the first semester of her Junior year, when she was taking her dual credit college course at the community college, along with her high school schedule, I thought all along how this will help her transition into the local college and perfectly falls in line with the plan. I even had visions of when she’s living at home and going to college, how I could help her with the whole becoming an adult thing and give her more financial responsibilities as well as in the household, etc. Kinda like if she was living with roommates. I had it all planned out.

But lately … I’m really starting to kind of doubt this “Plan” and if it’s going to work out like I’m envisioning. Next fall she will be a Senior in high school and I’m wondering if how she’s currently going about her life will be the same pattern, if not worse, when she’s going to community college. I’m going to go ahead and take the blame here, right up front and just get that out of the way. But basically, she’s 17 and I still get her up in the morning, do her laundry, make her meals and pay for almost everything. She has a part-time job, when she can fit it in, but all in all, her life is pretty darn cushy! She doesn’t have a checking account, has no clue about how much monthly bills cost and unfortunately doesn’t know how to properly maintain her vehicle. She prefers naps, watching Netflix and hanging with friends.

So, based on the fact that Hubby and I have failed to prepare her for real life at this point, she’s pretty dependent on us AND quite used to it. I got to toying with the idea that if maybe we were forced to dump her off at a college out of town instead of plunked right next to mom and dad, would it be the best for all of us? That’s what I had to do. Would we be doing her a favor by forcing her to live on her own? Or should we take this next year as a Senior in high school and shove a crash course of sole surviving at her and hope that she’s capable of living as an adult come Freshmen year of college?

I don’t know, but what I do know, is that I am starting to see why some parents are okay with their little birdies leaving the nest, a thought that I used to shut out because it could bring me to tears instantly. Anyway, I’m kinda getting it now. I don’t want her to be in college and me still nagging at her to clean her room or pick up her mess in the living room. I don’t want her to be in college and still asking me for $10 for lunch or me still doing her laundry. It’s time. Past time, actually, for her to take on her own responsibilities so that either we can get along if she stays in town and goes to community college, or so that she can survive on her own if she decides to leave town for college. Either way, we have one more year to make up for lost time and possibly reevaluate the original “plan.”