A balancing act

Ya know what one of the tough things about being a mom is? It's having to get after your kids for behavior you know darn well they inherited from you. Serious, it's a real struggle! If it's funny, you can't help but laugh but deep down you know you should probably correct them instead and tell them it's wrong to say that or do that but you know you did the same thing and it was funny then too. If it's inappropriate or crosses the line, it makes you mad but again, deep down, you know you are guilty of the exact same things so it doesn't seem fair to get angry about it. I feel like I'm constantly trying to balance accepting their behavior as normal and laughing along, with pretending I'm so innocent, and never said or did those same things.

I basically sat my 14-year-old down last weekend and gave her a 90-minute lecture on a whole list of things I wasn't happy about. I put on my Parent Hat and sat on my hoity-toity Parent throne as I explained how some of her recent actions and behavior "weren't acceptable in our home" and followed that up with several "I don't care what your friends do" statements. I blabbered on and on about things we say should be appropriate and things we wear should send the right message and so on and so on. I sounded like a speech right out of a Raising Morally Correct Children handbook for moms. As the minutes wore on, her face became droopier and droopier as I know she was recalling all of her recent edgy comments and racy remarks she'd dropped.

She spoke up a few times, trying to defend herself, but mostly just sat and stared at me while I continually brought up things for her to "work on". I couldn't help but feel bad as her eyes saddened and her sassy spirit weakened. I could tell she was probably thinking, "Ya, but you laughed when I said that." Or, "You said the same joke the other day." All of which she was 100 percent correct. I did laugh when she dropped those improper but hilarious comments, and I'm quite certain she did hear that wise crack leave my mouth a few times.

See! It's tough! I want her to be her witty, entertaining self because it's hilarious and our home would be boring without it. I love her sense of humor and I don't want to quench it, but sometimes she goes too far and if I don't call her on it, then I guess I'm not doing my job as a parent. But, gosh darn, some of her one-liners are hysterical and basically she takes the words right out of my mouth, so how do I punish an inherited trait? The poor kid can't help it!

I don't know what to do half the time and find myself correcting her WAY after the fact, way after I've enjoyed a good belly laugh. Totally backward, I know but it's hard to balance, especially when have only yourself to blame.