Surface parenting

Just when I think I'm doing a pretty decent job at being a parent, I gotta have some know-it-all parenting doctor reveal to me that, in fact, I'm failing miserably and might as well be the poster child for bad moms. Sometimes I have to travel out of town for work and this morning, before most people were awake, I was cruising down the dark highway. On some of my road trips, I like to listen to the religious radio shows. Good way to get some life boosts while killing time on the road.

Anyway, today, the show happened to be hosting two scholarly moms, who had written books on parenting and were giving those of us awake at 6 a.m., some "proven" parenting advice. They're cheesy voices reminded me of an old Saturday Night Live skit, but I was still intrigued as to what they were going to say. However, as the show continued, the more crappy I felt about myself and the more sarcastic my thoughts became towards these nauseatingly perfect moms.

For instance, one of them was carrying on about making your kids feel important and how crucial that is to their well-being and success. Not that I don't agree, but apparently, I'm supposed to ALWAYS stop what I'm doing when my child comes up to talk to me, look them straight in the eye and REALLY listen to everything. Shut my computer, put down my phone, shut off the tv, whatever I'm doing is not as important as what they have to tell me. (major eye roll) Oh OK, so in the evening after work, I'm supposed to stop cooking dinner, stop doing laundry or picking up the house every time my 10-year-old wants to tell me yet another rousing story about her classmates shoes or every time my 16-year-old wants to gripe about her sister using her makeup. Ya right! We wouldn't eat till 9 p.m. and the laundry would sit and mold.

And THEN, once I stop and listen, I'm supposed to respond with lots of "adjectives" and reassurance. Like, "Thank you for sharing your experience with me! You express yourself creatively and intelligently. I appreciate you and your feelings are very important to me." Or something along those lines.

And when my 10-year-old shows me her 19th drawing of a snowman, I'm supposed stop making my casserole, bend down to her level, look her in her beautiful eyes that God created, and explain to her how creative and artistic she is and what a wonderful future she has ahead of her! Just saying, "Good job!" is not acceptable and is referred to as "Surface Parenting".

So after listening to the textbook moms blabber on and on about how to be the perfect parent, I realized that I was quickly falling into the "Surface Parenting" category. And I guess, it's all because of my choices and I do too much for myself and don't leave enough time in my day to really show my children how important they are.

Apparently, I need to reduce the amount of time I spend on my hobbies and outings with my friends and concentrate more on staring at my kids, eye-to-eye, and psychotically smiling at them while talking like a Stepford Wife.

Hobbies and outings with friends? Are you stinkin' kidding me? My kids ARE my hobby and if I'm not with them, I'm taking care of the home they live in or at work making money for them. I'm not saying I'm perfect, and I'm certainly guilty of giving them the "surface parent" responses more often than not, but let's be real here. These moms think they've got it all figured out with their mandatory weekly date nights with their 5 kids and technology free weekends, but they're not the norm. I know everything they said was good and stuff, but basically all it did was make me despise their chipper but condescending voices. Call me a "Surface Parent" if the shoe fits, but I consider myself a "Real Parent" and one that is trying her darndest 95 percent of the time and maybe I should write a book about that!