Just wanted some alone time

I read a statement the other day explaining that "just because I want to be alone doesn't mean I'm mad" and then went on to explain that being alone recharges your batteries which implies you would return a calmer and happier person. Well, that just fits me like a glove and I wonder if anyone out there will ever realize it.

Because in my house, my alone time is nill to none. I know the older moms out there tell me how much alone time I'll get in the future and how I'll hate being alone but the thought of that in the future isn't exactly recharging my batteries today, when I need some serious recharging. I don't ask for days or weeks or even a weekend. I would just like an hour or two by myself, maybe even a day now and then.

However, this rarely happens and when I think it's coming, it gets ruined. A couple Saturday's ago, the moon and stars aligned and for some weird reason, everyone was out of the house for the whole afternoon. I wasn't planning on it but I was ecstatic to find out I had the house all to myself for at least 3-4 hours. Whoa!! Just the thought of it put me in a good mood! I didn't know if I should clean or bake something or just sit and watch a movie but I knew I wanted to take advantage of the alone time. I decided if I did laundry AND watched a movie, I was still doing something I wanted but yet getting some housework done as well. How exciting!! What should I watch?? I don't know but the decision is ALL mine! And maybe, just maybe when the movie ends, I'll take a nap! A real, quiet, uninterrupted nap!

So, I started a load of laundry, picked out a chick flick and even poured myself a soda pop and grabbed some chips. I don't have share and I don't have to be the example of healthy eating to anyone. Yes! But....only about 30 minutes had passed and I heard it, the back door open and shut. Keys fly on the counter and here trots in the 16 year old. "Whatcha doin?" she asks when she finds me basically hiding in the family room and is scoping out all my snacks. I let out a big sigh, faked a smile and just told her, "Just watchin' a movie." "What are you doing home already?" I asked her trying not to act annoyed. "I got done with work early!" she happily exclaims as she plops down on the couch beside me. And then she proceeds to rattle on and on about all the drama she heard about and who is fighting with who and so on and so on. All the while, my pop is getting flat and my movie is playing but I'm lost now because there's this incessant yapping beside me. Bless her heart!

Dang it! I just wanted a couple hours. A measly moment of time to be by myself and enjoy my home, my movie and my snacks, and for crying out loud, I wanted a stinkin' nap. I was looking forward to the nap more than I realized and now that it was a goner, my heart sunk. She asked me if there was something wrong, probably by the irritated look on my face, but of course I didn't say what I was really feeling. I can't be that cruel of a mom but I was super disappointed. Probably because the alone time, and the nap, were desperately overdue for me. I just needed my batteries recharged, just some time to breath and the unexpected alone time was such a nice surprise.

But ... not yet I guess. Batteries are gonna have to run on low for awhile ...