First day of school -- again

Well, here I am again ... hiding behind big sunglasses and slappin' a fake smile on my face and giving everyone a thumbs up! "First day of school, huh? How ya doin, Mama?" And of course I respond, "Great! Big day, exciting stuff!" However, they didn't see me bawling alone in my truck 3 minutes ago when I watched my youngest trot into the playground of her new school. I'm not really sure how my eye makeup looks, so I'll just keep the sunglasses on for now. I can fix that on my lunch break.

Then, when everyone at work without kids, oblivious to the emotions that go along with the first day of every school year, are bustling around, worrying about their responsibilities, while I'm sitting at my desk taking a few last glances at the pictures I took on my phone a half hour ago. Our annual first day of school pictures outside in the front yard, each girl sportin' her "1st Day Outfit" and looking so much older than she did last year. I sit staring at their pictures and realize those 1st day pictures just keep rolling around faster and faster every year. Holy Moly! Time needs to just hold up, now and slow the heck down! Movin way too fast for this Mommy!

And as I blubber around today, missing my babies, I find it funny that only yesterday afternoon, I was stompin' around the house barking about how it was time for school to start because the fun of summer was starting to smell. The days of lounging around and snacking were beginning to take a real toll on my sanity every day. I wanted the girls to enjoy their break and all, but month after month of living in what would be similar to a college frat house was doing me in.

I'm pretty sure my 9 year old hasn't had a good hair brushing since the middle of May and if she starts school a little cross-eyed, it's because the uninterrupted hours of iPad usage has left its mark. And I can't even begin to apologize to her new teacher who is going to get a big heaping load of Chatty Cathy.

That poor girl hasn't had many of us at the house during the days so when I get home from work, she talks my ear off. Follows me from room to room describing all kinds of things she saw on tv or read online and so on and so on, subconsciously begging for attention. So....I'm guessing her teacher will be the lucky recipient of a lot of chatter about random nothings, because she's been saving up for weeks now.

I expect the grocery bill will now return back to normal since the big girls won't be rummaging through the fridge and cupboard, and I might as well cancel the Netflix subscription cause with their schedule, they'll be lucky to have 30 minutes a week to watch tv. The house will probably stay clean now when I clean it and that darn blanket in the living room will finally stay folded on the chair instead of strung all over the place. The remote will no longer be smushed under a napping teenager when I come home for lunch and my leftover burrito will still be waiting for me instead of wolfed down by the other teenager.

But right at this moment, I want it all back. I want them all home. Day is not even over and I already miss them. How could this be? It's the same story every year, same emotions and same patterns. But as much as it hurts, I wouldn't trade it for anything. Tough day for us Mamas but best job in the world! Even if I don't get to eat my leftover burrito....