Makin' fun of Mom

I sure am glad my girls have me around to make fun of. I mean, ya gotta have some dufus in the house that is butt of all the jokes. We have the 9 year old and the old dad too, but the 9 year old just gets offended and pouts when they laugh at her, and the dad has no idea he's getting made fun of because either he can't physically hear them or if he does, he doesn't realize they're talking about him.

So ... that leaves me as the bullseye of their mocking. But everyone needs a good laugh so I'm really thankful I'm here for them. For instance, they're always taking stupid pictures or videos of me on their phones when I'm not paying attention and tell me they're gonna put that on their "story." So the other day I finally performed for them and told them, "Put that on your Instagram story!" They scoffed and laughed, "It's not an Instagram story, Mom. Duh!!" And then repeated it multiple times to everyone around them and laughing, "She said Instagram Story", ha ha!! Like that's about the dumbest thing anyone has ever said in the history of world.

Well, girls, sorry for not keepin up on your lame smartphone talk but glad you capitalized on my ignorance. And I'm glad you found it both hilarious and ridiculous that I thought Sephora was a kitchen store. I had no idea it was a makeup store but when is the last time you saw me spend decent money on makeup?? I thought you could buy nice china there. Sorry I'm so backwoods and embarrassing to ya, but glad you got a good laugh off of it.

And apparently I have NO clue what is "in" as far as homecoming dresses go and the ones I think are super cute, are "so 2000s." What?! I was "asked" to help look at dress ideas online the other day and almost every dress I loved, my know-it-all daughter laughed hysterically totally shocked that I would love such a hideous dress. Head back laughing, "Oh my gosh, that is SO bad, Mom! Look at the stupid belt on it. That is so 2000's!" She asked me if I was serious or just joking around. Um, no, I was totally serious and I thought the dress would look great on her. How incredibly dumb of me! I must really be an idiot! I'm so thankful I have these wise and knowledgeable girls living with me to help me out. I would hate to walk around so clueless.

Anyway, I can't say much without someone piping up and mocking me, whether it's mispronouncing some rapper's name or texting in proper English form. I can't help it. I can't keep up on each new music artist's pronunciation of his name when it's spelled all funky, and I like texting in sentence form with commas and periods. Apparently that is also dumb and cool people just abbreviate and don't use punctuation.

Oh, how funny I am! Just a walking comedy show, I tell ya!