Bribed my baby

I know I often nominate myself for Worst Mom of the Year Award, but so far there's no trophy sittin' on my mantle so I obviously get beat out each year.

Well, this year is no different than any other year, and I'm building up some reasons to list on my 2016 Worst Mom nomination form. Some of those on the list are purely accidental but then there are those that I have chosen to do despite how poorly it makes me look as a parent.

For example, my youngest, that poor third child, who, let's admit it, basically gets the leftovers of my aging mom abilities, recently had a school carnival. Her last one of her elementary school life. She hadn't really said much about it, as we've been to it every year for the past three years, so I wasn't sure she was looking forward to it or not.

Anyway, her oldest sister had a track meet that same day so I wasn't sure how it would work out to even attend the carnival. So I had decided I just wouldn't really say much about it and maybe she'd forget.

Several days had passed without one mention of the carnival and then of course, a day before, she brings it up. She rattled on and on about all the prizes that you could win and how she really wanted the doll but so did her friends and she wondered who would win it and so on, all excited about the deal. However, I was quick to shut down her 9 year old dreams by reminding her about her sister's track meet that same day and how I wasn't sure if we could go to the carnival. "I know, Mom, but maybe we can still go," she said. I gave her the "We'll see..." line, which in my house usually means there's about a 30 percent chance it's even gonna happen.

As the day of the carnival arrived, she hadn't said anymore. She went to school and I headed off to prepare for an all-day track meet. And all day it was! As most track meets go, it was cold, windy and as the day wore on, any slight hint of a desire to take her to the carnival dwindled away.

When I skipped out to pick her up from school, I already had a speech of how to talk her out of attending the carnival, just in case she mentioned it. I'd hoped she'd just forgotten about it but unfortunately for me, after seeing the school all set up, she was even more excited for it when I picked her up. "When can we go to the carnival, Mom?!" she asked. "Great....," I thought. I was tired, freezing, hungry and just wanted to go home and the track meet wasn't even over! I wanted food and a warm shower and to lay on the fat couch, not drag off to a packed elementary school carnival with lots of running and screaming munchkins all around me.

So, while we finished watching the track meet, I gave her a proposition. It was a low and conniving move on my part, but the mood hit me and I threw it out there. "What if ... , instead of going to the carnival, I just gave you the cash we would have spent there? All yours! Then you can spend it on anything you want, doll clothes, stuffed animals, whatever! AND ... I will do something special later with ya, just you and me, like play a game or watch a movie!" She just sat staring and pondering. Then she hits me with, "Ya, but it's my last one ever and I kinda wanted to go?"

My heart is hurting as the guilt pours in. But yet, I still push on, "I know you do, but I know how bad you wanted some new doll furniture too and I just thought you may like that instead? But it's up to you."

After some hesitation, she gave in and agreed to the cash. Oh the shame I feel! I think about reneging but don't. And then she puts the last nail in my guilt coffin when she says, "It's okay, it was probably only going to be the same ol' games anyway and I probably wouldn't win any of the prizes, cause I never do. I guess the money will be fine."

Isn't that terrible of me?? The poor girl just wants someone to take her to her dang school carnival and her lazy ol' mom bribed her out of it. I don't deserve to be a mom, I tell ya.

But since I already am, THIS is why I deserve the Worst Mom of the Year Award. Where's my trophy?