A new Christmas

Well, that was weird ... This was our first Christmas without the visit of the big man in the red suit. The jolly ol' elf has been sneaking into our house for the last 15 years but this year, he passed us by. Flew right over our address without even a glance below. Maybe he's had enough of our sarcastic attitudes and crabby holiday ways?

Or ... maybe it's because the baby in the house has decided that her doubts regarding his existence have finally made her search the truth and deal with the outcome. She was the only one left that personally gave him an invite to stop by each Christmas Eve and this year she decided he was no longer welcome in our house.

Not in mean spirited way, but rather with much sadness and regret. The hefty Saint is always welcome in our home, of course, but the 8 year old has come to the conclusion that the letters to him and visits for pictures aren't really necessary anymore. She realized she can make a list of her dream toys and still maybe receive them without the whispers in his ear.

In our conversations leading up to her final conclusion, her questions and reactions to her realizations, reminded me of when a relationship needs to end, whether friend or significant other. You can keep trying to keep it going despite your doubts, but the relationship is primarily forced and causes false feelings, not love and belief in each other. Once you make the decision to let the relationship subside, it's sad but sort of a relief at the same time because you can move on and sometimes up to something better.

Therefore, despite her heartbreak and wish to keep on believing in something that she's held onto for so long, she was ready for reality and taking the next step. The next step into what I called the, "Big Kids Club." She's now part of that special group of humans that know the Big Man on a different level and are able to help him out in the future. I thought her initiation into this club would be a little difficult this year, especially on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning, but thankfully it was not. She was still just as excited, had a hard time going to sleep and woke up before sunrise on Christmas morning. The toys were just as cool and her smile was just as big as years past.

I thought I would take it harder than her, not having Nick's cookies and milk, his boot prints out front or his reindeer food on our lawn, but surprisingly I was okay too. The overall thought makes me sad that the little kid spirit is slowly leaving our home but at the same time, she's growing up and that is exciting too. Started a new Christmas chapter in our home this year and one without the visit of Mr. Claus. It's been a fun ride and maybe we'll see ya again when the grandkids come around.