Last piece of pie

So I saw this post online the other day from some mom who is obviously doing a much better job than me. It was this nice list of things our kids don't know we moms have done for them, like all the sleepless nights we've had, how much we've worried and cried over the years, and how many times we've sacrificed the last piece of pie that we were saving for ourselves just for you, dear child. Eeeerch! What?!!!

I read no further. I agreed with the first four but when it got to the pie sacrificing, that's when I drew the line. I sacrifice a lot for my girls and will continue to but when it comes to eating, I ain't doing it. If I know there's one piece of banana cream pie left in the fridge, I will hide that sucker way down on the bottom shelf far in the back and cover it with a bag of lettuce if I have to. That baby is mine!

I admit my selfishness. Right here and now, I'm not afraid to say it. Sometimes, after they've gone to bed and I'm sneaking down the last Little Debbie treat that they picked out, I question myself as a mother. I literally have to ask myself, if we were stranded in the forest with my favorite sweet and salty granola bars, would I make sure they were fed first. Although it would pain me a tad, of course I would feed them before me. However, the moment I realize we're not actually stranded, I have no problem slicking off the rest of the yummy cake goody.

My mom list would sound horrible if I had to tell them that for years I've been playing games with them about the snacks. Take, for example, the chewy chocolate cookies. For years my girls have been whining when I buy the chewy chocolate cookies instead of the crunchy kind. Apparently the chewy kind doesn't go well with their milk?? Well, secretly I am the one who loves the chewy kind and so I play dumb a lot. Every time a new, fresh package of chewy chocolate cookies appears on the shelf, they belly ache to me saying, "Mom, we told you like 100 times, we don't like the chewy ones!" "Next time buy the crunchy ones," they demand. "Oh sorry," I always say, "One of these days I'll get it right."

Ya ... I know darn well they don't like chewy, but guess who does? ME! And that, my friends, is how I get to actually have cookies. Cause in my house, the good snacks last about 1-2 days and they're cleared out, so I've learned to strategize and find ways to get my own paws on the good treats. And if that means hiding the coveted Snickers bar behind the extra milk jug or stashing the last can of Sprite out in the garage fridge, I'll do it.

Like I said, it sounds really rotten of me and judge me if you will, but right now, it's a dog-eat-dog world at my house and so I do what I gotta do. I can have all the yogurt and carrots and pretzels I want, they don't seem to vanish near as quickly as the brownies and cupcakes, so I'm afraid I cannot be a part of that mom's list of all she's done for her kids. Apparently, I'm failing in that food sacrificing area.

But, hey, what they don't know don't hurt 'em and as far as my girls are concerned, they thought the pie was all gone, so what's the harm in enjoying the last precious sliver that I worked so hard to bury?

Not a thing I say, not a thing.