A Mom Journey

Most weeks I sit down and type up another one of my mom stories, with the hopes of turning it into some sort of humor piece.

However, some weeks I just don't feel like being funny and this just happens to be one of those weeks. Ya see, this week, my mind has been on another young mama that I know, that just lost her sweet baby boy.

A new mama that was just starting her Mom Journey, only four weeks in, but had it all suddenly end before she got to experience all these crazy things I write about each week.

Every day she's in my thoughts, and as I sat down to write my column, it hit me that although her Journey had just began, she got to experience SO much of what only mommies get to experience in very short amount of time.

She got be somebody's Mama and feel that kind of love that only your baby can make you feel, no matter if they're in your belly or in your arms. And with a love that deep, now she also understands what it's really like to worry, REALLY worry.

As soon as you find out you're pregnant, you worry. Instantly, only hours after you see the two lines on the test, you worry. Worry about if the baby is healthy, worry if you're eating the right things, or worry about all the planning that lies ahead.

For the next nine months, you are worried if you're growing at the right rate or drinking enough water or getting the right amount of exercise. Are you too stressed or getting enough sleep? And as the due date approaches and you're belly is the size of a watermelon; you worry if they're kicking enough, or if they're positioned right or how the delivery will go.

Then ... when you finally deliver and you are handed this tiny, beautiful, little person, your worries temporarily vanish as you admire this perfect and normal, healthy baby with ten tiny toes and ten tiny fingers. You look at their precious little face, stroke their soft, wispy hair and wonder how God managed to create this amazing little being just for you and husband.

For a short period of time in the hospital, as you sit in awe over this most perfect baby, you don't worry. But as soon as the nurse tells you they need to take the baby for a little bit and whisks your sweet little one off to the nursery, your new worries begin. Where is she taking her? What are they doing? Is he okay? Are they bringing her back?

All kinds of new worries, will I be able to feed him okay, do I really know what I'm doing, or am I okay with all these people holding her?

What if they drop her or what if he needs me? When you finally get home, you worry about night time feedings, baths and umbilical cords, and worry about how in the world you are going to take care of this precious little creature.

In the first days of their young lives, you already know you would give your life for them, without a second thought. You know that you would do anything to protect them and do everything in your power to make them happy. Finding yourself constantly checking on them, worried if they're hungry or tired, or maybe just need Mommy.

All these emotions you "thought" you understood but you really didn't until you became a mom. And among all those worries, there is an indescribable joy. Your heart bursts with pride knowing you're their mommy and even just to hear someone say their name, makes you smile.

"That's MY baby," you want to shout to the world. There are so many amazing feelings and experiences that happen at the beginning of the Mom Journey, things you've never felt before and never will forget. And for this new Mama, that's in my thoughts each day, includes sadness. But just like the incredible amount of joy or pride or worry, is an incredible amount of sadness that only a Mama can feel.

I know each Mom Journey is different and God is the only who knows how long or how short it will last, or the different paths it will take so I pray this new Mama, in the midst of her sadness, will know how important her Mom Journey has been and continues to be.

Her life was forever changed the day she became a Mom.