Eureka moments can become eureka events

Most people have had a Eureka moment; the moment of a sudden unexpected discovery. It might be a relationship, a job, a health issue or any number of things but whatever it is, it changes our life and sometimes it changes the lives of others too. And it makes sense to me that Eureka moments can evolve into Eureka events that have such a powerful effect on us that our lives are changed forever.

A good friend of mine was recently telling me about a visit he had just had with his doctor. They have a good relationship and he tends to tell the doctor everything that's going on in his life. On this occasion, the topic of a former job came up and he told the doctor that even though he hasn't had that job in a long time, he thinks about it every day because it meant so much to him. The doctor told him he was obsessing about something he didn't have any more and he should put it behind him and get on with his life.

This is common advice we all get from professionals and laymen alike. If we either can't or don't want to turn loose of something in our past, we're told essentially the same thing that the doctor told my friend; give it up, put it in the past and make new memories instead of hanging on to old ones.

I've never agreed with that sentiment. Life is too short to begin with and those kinds of memories are few and far between. In fact, some people have no Eureka memories at all.

They've lived such a dreadful life of illness, injury, abuse, poverty, ignorance or a hundred other things that affect our lives in negative ways that they have nothing in their past that brings back fond memories and warm feelings.

So for those of us who do, why shouldn't we remember them; even relish in them? This job my friend had meant everything to him. He loved his job, the people he worked with and the customers he served. Heck, he even loved his boss. He couldn't wait to get up in the morning to go to work and because of that, his whole life, at least to him, is defined by that experience. And his doctor called that obsessing. Obsessing means to dominate or preoccupy the thoughts, feelings, or desires of a person and his old job sure did that. But I don't think it serves him or any of the rest of us well to see that as negatively impacting his life. He simply has a fond memory of an experience that gave him great pleasure and he's holding onto it.

Some people have Eureka moments and Eureka events with relationships, whether the other person involved does or not. The relationship meant so much to them, was so satisfying and enjoyable in every sense of the word that they woke up every day with a smile on their face and a spring in their step.

Because they were deeply in love with another person who they believed to be deeply in love with them too, they couldn't wait to face the day.

Many people describe it as the happiest times of their life. But sometimes relationships don't last just like jobs don't and we have to ask if we're being true to ourselves by trying to put those things out of our minds simply because we don't have them anymore?

I've had only one of those in my life and it was so intense and compelling that it changed my life forever! And some Eureka moments and events DON'T end. Some are ongoing and those are even better stories because it's still happening to the person!

If you've had an event or a process like this, whether in the past or now, I would like for you to email me at the address listed under my picture in this column because I don't think they're rare. And I think they give us the hope and even the desire to confront another day in the hope of reclaiming the most important, life-changing experience in our lives.

And even if we don't, we'll always have that experience to remember and to replay in our minds anytime we want because it was the one good thing that happened to us!