Dear Third Child

Dear Third Child,

Since you're only 8 years old and don't know what "childhood issues" are yet, I thought I'd apologize now so you have something in writing to take to your therapist later in life. That way you know that none of what happened to you growing up was intentional and that you were loved just as much, but just happened to be the third child.

I promise that even though I don't know where you run off to half the time, I do secretly wish you would just sit with me when we're at places. I know I drag you all over the state for all your sisters' activities, and that you're just a kid and want to go horse around with your friends or go exploring, or go to the bathroom 132 times, but I would worry less if you just sat with me. You especially like to do this at your sisters' sporting events and will be gone for what seems like hours. You get away with it, because I get caught up in whatever game I'm watching and lose track of time. I'm not trying to ignore you and the thought of some creeper taking you always crosses my mind, but keeping you next to me for a seven-hour track meet is nearly impossible. You are a bona fide wanderer and have always been an independent soul that doesn't like being tied down. Even as a baby I couldn't fence you in, always escaping or finding a way to be out on your own.

So please don't hold it against me that I don't have you on a leash or force you to stay put everywhere we go. It's not in your nature.

Also, I really do like your art pictures and the drawings you make me! I'm sorry if I don't make a bigger fuss but it's just that you give me SO many! I know my reaction may seem fake and, yes, I should probably sit down and really scan each one with loving eyes, but you also need to eat dinner or be in the car or into bed for that matter so I don't always have a lot of time. I'm trying my best to acknowledge each and every picture and if you happen to see some of them in the trash, it's only because they've been replaced with your even better pieces! Keep 'em coming!

I truly do feel bad that you go to school with shoes that are too small or holes in the toes, and it pains me to see you continue to wear your favorite shirt, even if it has had an ink stain on it for months. However, I have to say, you, my dear, are hard on your clothes! I try to keep it fair and buy you new things as often as your older sisters but when you play as hard as you do, things get ruined quicker. I don't like that you sport the disheveled look but I can't keep up with you. Once you get older, you'll see that your new clothes and shoes will stay shiny longer, just be patient and don't think me bad for not dressing you nicer.

Specifically, I want to say sorry, too, for always forgetting about you in different ways. I'm sorry for forgetting that it was your turn for Show and Tell or that you were supposed to wear a blue shirt to school on Thursday. I'm sorry that time got away from me since I was running your sisters all over town and I didn't get you fed until 7 p.m. I'm sorry I had to practically boot you out of the truck on the way to school barely hugging you, because your sisters had to be to school early for their meets. I'm sorry for never setting enough time aside in the morning to do your hair special like your friends always do.

I never intend on making you feel less important and I want you to know that you are just as loved and adored as your sisters are, even though I may not be showing it very well. I'll keep working on it, I promise, so please forgive me, my sweet third child, I'll try to do better!