Taking ownership

I'm wondering if a person has to actually own a home to notice what's in it?

Like work every day, earning a paycheck that helps pay the monthly mortgage for the house, in order to recognize all the junk it holds and the care it needs? That would be the only reason I can come up with for why my girls are oblivious to so many things.

For instance, their stuff that sits everywhere ... I honestly don't believe they see it. Now when my stuff is sitting somewhere for a long period of time, I notice it. I walk by it several times thinking that I need to put that away. That's my sweatshirt and it's been sitting there over the chair since Monday and I should hang it up, kinda thought.

Or ... something less personal, that basket of clothes or stack of papers has been hanging out on the table for two days and it needs to find its home and quit cluttering up the joint, ya know?! Not my "personal" items, per se, but the family's in general that needs dealt with.

Maybe if I made my girls use a percentage of their savings or birthday money every month to help pay the mortgage, they'd take on more ownership and realize the house is also theirs to take care of and not just mine and dads. Maybe all their clothes and junk that sits on the stair steps for days on end would finally find its way to their bedrooms? Maybe the 6 pairs of shoes strung around the living room that everyone trips over, would magically become visible to them and be paired up and set nicely in their closets? And perhaps, just once, the front bench would be cleared for seating instead of the resting place for 18 bags and 27 jackets? Hmm, just maybe??

They freak out when and notice immediately if one of their sisters leaves her things in their room or muddles up their stuff, but yet, they think nothing of muddling up the rest of the house....the one Hubby and I are paying for and allowing them to take up residence in. Of course they get nagged continuously about picking up after themselves and eventually quietly comply but if they just SAW the stuff before I had to nag, there'd be nothing for me to write about.

And the issues extends further than their own personal items flung around, it's also the general household messes that we as a group have made but yet I'm the only one who sees it and feels responsible. For instance, the junk drawer that won't open because instead of keeping things organized, we all like to chuck all our odds and ends in there and pray it shuts letting the next family member have the joy of opening it.

Or perhaps, that one cupboard in the kitchen that holds everything from office supplies and old receipts to school and insurance papers, to old phone cases, 13 glue bottles and a basket full of medicines and bandaids. We're all guilty of shoving every random thing in there until the door barely shuts but yet I'm the only who feels bad that it's messy and adds it to my never-ending to-do list.

Am I the only one who sees these things, or is it because it's my house with my name on the deed? Yes, I believe so. I finally realized, after 15 years, that my girls were obviously not born with a natural ability to notice the items they leave around or messes they make so as long as they're under my roof, it will be my job to point it all out and train them to take ownership.

But I may still think of a way to have them help pay for the mortgage. Just to see it makes a difference.