If You're Happy and Ya Know It

When I was a kid and in a bad mood, it use to drive me nuts when my mom would tell my little brothers, "Don't talk to her, she's a grouch."

I use to think in my head, "Well, I wasn't a grouch, I just didn't feel like talking, but if you're gonna say that, then I'm darn sure gonna be a grouch now!"

Which, obviously I was a grouch to begin with, but just couldn't admit it so blamed her after saying that. I used to tell myself that I wouldn't do that to my kids when I became a mom because I knew how mad it made me.

Ya know, one of those items on the "I'm not going to be like my mother" list that all people tell themselves but actually end up doing anyway?

Well, now that I am a mom, I about have to gag myself every time those same words start to fall out of my mouth at my own girls. Most times I don't say it, although definitely think it, but I'm not sure if one of the alternatives I chose to do is any better for my daughters' psychological well-being? Sometimes, I like to turn the tides on them when they're being "grouchy pants" or "poopy" as we like to call it on our house, and tease them. My ultimate goal, no matter how mean it may seem, is to make them smile or laugh and forget about the fact that they're in a bad mood, so I make up songs poking fun at their bitter mood!

For instance, yesterday morning on the way to school, my 8-year-old found it enjoyable to pout and snip at everyone rather than be pleasant and happy she's alive, so I decided to sing to her changing the words to the famous Bible class song "If You're Happy and You Know it."

I started off with the verse, "If you're poopy and ya know it, pick yer nose. If you're poopy and ya know, pick yer nose. If you're poopy and ya know it, then yer face'll surely show it! If you're poopy and ya know it, pick yer nose."

The more I continued, the more her little face puckered up and glared out the window. I'm sure the fact that her older sisters laughed and stared at her, only fueled her inner fire. So, I made up the second verse, "If you're grouchy and ya know it, pick yer seat ..." and so on and so on, briefly interjecting to explain to her what "pick yer seat" meant.

The word "wedgie" used in my explanation, must have struck a nerve, because in the rear view mirror I spied just the tiniest little smile emerging from her sour face.

So I kept going, rounding out the final verse, "If you're whiney and ya know it, say Aaeehh (similar to a bleating goat sound, which I exaggerated of course)" and so on and so on, eventually finishing my new song by the time we reached her school.

Well, by the last verse of doing all three actions in my twisted version of a classic bible class jingle, she was giggling. Job well done on my part I thought. She apparently forgot about her sour mood and decided that boogers and wedgies and goat sounding noises were more entertaining. Over the years, I've chosen to do other songs for the older girls as well and sometimes it works and they lighten up, and sometimes, they walk off and I don't see them again for a few hours. Nonetheless, I give it a shot.

Now don't get me wrong, some days, when I'm feeling a tad more nurturing, I do get them alone and ask them to talk to me about what's bothering them, ask them to open up to their caring and concerned mom. (wink) And of course there are other days when I'm grouchy myself and them being grouchy only makes me grouchier, which never ends wells and most certainly does NOT involve singing on anyone's part.

However, yesterday, just happened to be a joyfully sarcastic day that successfully changed a "poopy" kid to a "happy" kid! So if you're happy and ya know it, say "Way to Go MOM!"