Ideal situation ... wrong!

Before I was a mom, I always thought it'd be the ideal situation to just raise kids from ages 4-18.

Give birth to them and then let someone else raise them until they were out of diapers and walking and talking, then take them back. Ya know, get the hard stuff done and then let me have the easy years. Now that I have a teenager, I decided I was majorly wrong!

All the sleepless nights and dirty diapers were WAY easier than dealing with hormones and drama. For instance, I've decided that schlepping a big stroller and a crying baby through the mall was a cakewalk compared to dragging a mad-and-pouting 14-year-old who failed to convince me to buy her the dress she wanted.

Or at a restaurant, even though it was a lot of work taking babies and toddlers out to eat, at least they looked at me and talked to me even if it was babble. The teenager has no idea I'm even at the same table until the bill arrives because she's on her phone the whole dinner and responds to my questions with one word answers.

When I used to complain about all the laundry I had to do when my girls were babies, I had no idea that when they were teenagers I would be doing double.

Their clothes are obviously larger, more expensive and they like to change 150 times a day. Oh, and they have to have uniforms and specific socks and whatnot, that all need washed up by 8 a.m. the next day. At least when they were babies they cared less if they were clothed, nonetheless how they looked.

Teenagers eat SO much more than babies and cost SO much more than babies!

I thought when we finally had to stop buying mega boxes of diapers, we were set, but oh no, it's only gotten worse. And at this age, she isn't old enough to find a job that pays well enough to cover her expenses.

When she was two, she thought she'd hit the jackpot when I gave her a dollar and now she rolls her eyes when I offer her a $5 bill, like that's chump change.

Then there's those darn hormones. As a baby, if she was grouchy, I gave her milk and put her down for a nap. Voila! Problem solved.

Now when she's grouchy, it's a big guessing game as to why or who caused it or if it just is. But in the meantime, the rest of us suffer through her scowls and sassiness. Sometimes it lasts an hour and sometimes it lasts days. Never know.

When she was little, she didn't like going to bed but I could pick her up and put here there. Now I have to beg her to go to bed and argue for 20 minutes as to why she needs to go to bed only to have her stomp off and roll her eyes at my "ridiculous" rules.

Not quite as easy as giving her a kiss and hug and tucking her in her crib like the old days.

Everything was simpler. The TV shows she watched and the music she liked was so innocent and I didn't have to monitor any of it.

The clothes she wore were cute, pink and puffy just like a little girl, not trendy and womanly looking. Her idea of a good time was playing Barbies with her friends or playing school.

Now she can't wait to get out of the house to meet her friends at the ballpark or movies. She used to like spending time with me and her dad and thought we were the best. Now we're just in her way and have our noses in her business all the time.

So I admit, I was wrong and I've changed my mind. The ideal situation would be to raise kids from birth to 13, then let someone else have the rough years and I'll take them back after 18.

The hardest part of this whole mom thing is just starting. No, I'm not changing 100 diapers a day anymore or cleaning up throw up and a thousand baby toys, but some days I think it'd be easier.

Right now I'd take rocking a fussy baby to sleep rather than following a teenager around town to see what they're doing and who they're with.