The folly of Valentine's Day

Today is Valentine's Day, a day set aside to celebrate romantic love, but it has been perverted to the point of becoming almost unrecognizable over the years. The term "Valentine" comes from a priest named Valentinus who lived in ancient Rome. When the Emperor of Rome forbade marriage for young men in hopes that they would become soldiers, Valentinus recognized the unjust nature of this and took action to rebel against the powerful government. Valentinus would conduct illegal weddings of young lovers, therefore becoming a symbol of love. Once the Emperor uncovered these secret affairs, Valentinus was immediately put to death.

So what started as a true act of love and kindness has turned into a materialistic orgy of products and producers, all suggesting their product is what we should give the love of our life to prove our eternal devotion to them. This year close to 700 million dollars will be spent on domestically produced and imported flowers, with roses being the most popular one. It is estimated that 15% of women send flowers to themselves on this day.

More about that later.

In addition to the flowers, about 150 million cards will be mailed and 1.5 billion dollars of candy will be bought, along with a wide assortment of other gifts escalating in price up to precious stones.

So it's no longer a day of love, it's a day of profit.

And what does it mean to give your loved one a special gift on this special day and what kind of gift do you give? Is it proof of your love to her or simply an obligation that must be met because we all know the blowback that will occur if we don't get her anything. But is a gift given really from the heart when it's an obligation rather than a choice? Wouldn't it mean a lot more to her to get a gift from you on a normal day, rather than a day the merchants have circled as a red letter day to increase their profits?

And if we give her a gift, do we give her what we want her to have, what we think she wants or what we know she wants? Typically, we do the former rather than the latter. And even if it is the latter, how do we know that's what she really wants? And if she tells us not to get her anything, does she really mean it and will her feelings be hurt if we take her advice? This is the nature of relationships and none of us are ever really sure that we're making the right choice.

We're celebrating a day of romantic love and most of us know very little about romantic love or what our loved one wants or needs. Because no matter how close we are or how much we think we're in love, the other person has secrets in the dark recesses of their mind that we know nothing about. I knew the last person I had a relationship with so well that I could complete her sentences but I eventually discovered there was much I didn't know about her because she never revealed it. And we can't know without being told.

There has always been a debate about whether we should do what we think our loved one would want us to do or should we just ask so we would know for sure. I think we should just ask. I suppose it takes some of the spontaneity and romance out of the day but in the end, if you really want to please her, she'll be more pleased by getting what she wants or going where she wants to go than she would if you decided for her. That's assuming she'll tell you the truth to begin with which there's no guarantee of.

Is getting a gift important to women on Valentine's Day? It obviously is since 15 percent of the women send flowers to themselves, not wanting to appear unwanted or unloved to others. This is what I mean about not understanding the female psyche. Men and women are different from each other psychologically, emotionally and physically.

That's why the more I learn about women, the less I know.