Blasted cooking shows!

I decided they have got to stop making all these blasted, reality cooking shows. They're making me look bad! Before all the shows came on TV, my kids thought I wasn't too bad of a cook. They had no idea that there were other options in life. But, now, they see these chefs making beautifully designed meals with mahi mahi brazed in a Tuscan cream sauce, or I don't know ... asparagus, and they're wondering what's up.

Yes, I said asparagus. And add beets, artichokes, spinach and any other oddball veggie you can think of and no, I don't make them cause I don't like them. I don't think my girls even knew what a mushroom was until a few years ago when one showed up accidentally on our pizza. Do I think I should be serving a larger variety of vegetables? Certainly! Do I take the time to? No. I often make plans to buy all kinds of fresh veggies at the store, determined to learn how to cook them so that they'll be delicious and I'll finally feel like an adequate mother, but each time I stand in front of these foreign veggies, I back pedal, and then grab the ol' stand bys, carrots and celery. Maybe a cucumber to really go crazy!

I honestly do feel bad for meal selections for my family being so limited and I take full responsibility for it but for reasons unbeknownst to me, God made me a picky eater. He provided all these amazing foods on our planet and I only like about 5 percent of them and now my poor family has to suffer the consequences of my pickiness. In our house, you get pasta, meat and potatoes, more pasta and tacos. Or, on a good day, a casserole or crockpot of soup consisting of any of those aforementioned foods. Of course, breakfast is way different. You get cereal, oatmeal, toast or something frozen in a box. I do make the traditional pancake, eggs, and bacon medley but that's usually for supper on a cold snowy night. And maybe, if it's your birthday, I'll make muffins for breakfast. Whoo hoo!

I do like to bake, so homemade breads, cookies or brownies are usually around, but heaven forbid they be anything but your basics. You won't find a hint of raisin or cranberry in any bread or cookie I make, nor will there be any giant walnuts or chunks of caramel hanging out in my brownies. Plain Jane, baby! That's how I like 'em! While everyone else is making pecan pies or coconut cream pies with fluffy toppings, I'm serving apple or cherry and adding ice cream is about as exciting as it's gonna get.

But I have to admit, I love watching these blasted cooking shows on tv and my mouth literally waters when I see some chef whipping up the prettiest plate of brandied pepper steak or chicken tikki masala. I don't even know what those words mean other than "steak" and "chicken" but I know I really want to eat it. And as I watch them, the guilt sets in, knowing I could be serving these wonderful looking, and healthy, foods to my family. Or at the very least, make an attempt to serve these kinds of meals. Better than the sloppy joes and chips they got the night before.

It doesn't help that my girls love to watch these shows too, so now they're really onto my inadequacies when it comes to cooking. For 15 minutes they watch this chef work her magic with some lamb chops and red potatoes making her gourmet dish look like an artist sculpture before turning to me and asking, "That looks SO good, why can't you make that?" I should apologize, but instead I let them know that those are professionals on tv and not working moms with barely anytime to make a meal, nonetheless, a fancy one. However, deep down, I know I could do make them, with better planning but I just don't.

Those blasted cooking shows! Like I needed one more thing to feel guilty about. What's wrong with good ol' lasagna, anyway?!