Pajama buttons of the world beware

Shortly after rousing Declan from his usual slumber earlier this week and directing him towards his outfit for the day, I noticed he was having trouble getting his pajama shirt off. I offered him what I thought was my usual early-morning brilliance.

"Don't try to push both your hands out of the neck, at the same time as you pull it over your head," I said.

Declan retracted his hands from inside his shirt collar and flopped them back down to his side while directing a snarled face at me.

"You don't know science!" he snapped with an all too familiar grumpy tone.

His comment struck me as odd but his early-morning grumpiness is all too familiar, as is his habit of reminding me it is my fault because I am the one waking him before he is ready.

"No, I don't actually," I replied softly as I attempted to process his comment.

Declan began his odd strategy again and worked both arms nearly to the elbow up through the inside of the collar of his pajama shirt.

Directly related to his snappy tone, I decided to keep the "science" of unbuttoning the top button of a shirt to myself, as I quietly watched him carry out what looked like a very difficult way to disrobe.

Declan fidgeted all about as he tugged the shirt over his head, before bending over at the waist and spinning a half circle, nearly losing his balance but preventing a tumble by leaning against his bedroom wall. He eventually ripped the shirt off his head with a prolonged grunt and immediately shot me a "see, told ya!" look.

His eyes hadn't yet adjusted to the morning light and he struggled to maintain a glare but his message of defiance was apparent.

I paused for a moment and contemplated informing him the red abrasions he now had on his forehead, from the top button of the shirt he removed, were completely unnecessary. I decided the enjoyment I would receive from teasing him would likely pale in comparison to the grief he would cause me during the remainder of our morning prep.

"Nice work," I muttered instead, fighting back a grin.

I may just be a humble journalist, unfamiliar with the obvious complexities of second-grade science, but I am slowly becoming a scholar in the field of early morning conflict avoidance.