The difference between Herren and Damen

Summer is winding down, although the temperature surely isn't, which means Walmart is putting out school supplies, my daughter is shopping for next seasons' basketball shoes and Declan will return from his summer abroad in a few days.

Technically he wasn't "abroad," but I am certain the differences between his life with his mother and the one he will return to with me, feel quite similar to the experience of visiting a foreign country.

I lived in Germany for several years while serving in the U.S. Army and our favorite welcome tool for new arrivals to the country was always explaining how to determine which restroom to use. The small town where our barracks were located, Wackernheim, had a wonderful little eatery just a block from our front gate that served the best pommes frites (upgraded version of our French fries) and of course incredibly delicious beer.

Within a few days of their arrival, new soldiers were traditionally escorted out to the small family-owned restaurant to partake in their first German meal.

A short while into their very large and unusually strong beer their attention would be turned to the restroom doors.

"It's easy to remember. Damen is for da-men and Herren is for her," they would be told with a smile.

Of course our guidance was intentionally flawed, Damen actually refers to ladies and Herren to gentlemen.

It was a fairly effective and usually harmless gag, which typically resulted in a pair of us "experienced" soldiers laughing uncontrollably as a red-faced new recruit received the evil eye from an elderly lady across the room for the remainder of the evening.

I have missed Declan far too much over the last several weeks to greet him with a practical joke when he returns, but I have kept our recent move a secret and plan to surprise him with it.

I am confident he will be excited to be living closer to the park, but perhaps I will google an authentic pommes frittes recipe, just in case.