Foul mouth driver

Here I get after my oldest daughter all the time about texting things to someone that she wouldn't say face to face, but I caught myself doing kind of the same thing yesterday behind the wheel of my truck and realized I've been doing this for years. I admit I feel very comfortable chewing out other drivers and complaining out loud about all the wrong doers, as long as the windows are all up. But ... would I say this these things to their faces if we both got out? About 99 percent sure I would NOT, and I would be nothing but nicey-nice and forgiving.

For a long time now, I've been calling other drivers names without one hesitation of who might be listening in the back seat, but how can I punish my 13-year-old for texting what she wouldn't say in person if, basically, I'm doing the same thing while driving? Sitting behind the wheel apparently eliminates that filter between my brain and my mouth and my thoughts about those unskilled drivers just roll right off my tongue.

Yesterday I was attempting to maneuver on icy streets, through neighborhoods with no stop signs, to pick up kids at three different schools. Throughout the whole treacherous trip, I didn't have to do any of the yelling as my 6-year-old barked from her booster seat, "C'mon, Doofus, move!" Then after a few more blocks, when we swerved to miss a texting driver who, I'm guessing, forgot there was an intersection, my innocent Kindergartner declared, "Geesh, what a Moron!" Her words were vocalizing exactly what I was thinking.

My other daughters have done over the years, too. When I think back, "moron" seems to be the most popular phrase they used. I know occasionally I've whipped out the humorous "nincompoop," which makes all the kids giggle, but that name sure fits some drivers who aren't thinking straight. I'll never forget the time when my middle daughter was just little and actually rolled her window down to call someone a "loser" after they sped by us, then dangerously cut us off in a busy city street in Oklahoma.

I laughed back then, but was also embarrassed that she'd obviously learned from me to call other driver's "losers." Not my proudest parenting moment.

Not that this makes it right, but I have certainly seen my share of other drivers silently chewing me out behind their closed windows, so I know it's not just me. Apparently we all feel 10 feet tall and bulletproof when we're in our vehicles. I don't know, but nonetheless, if my daughter will call someone a "dorkball" from the truck, how do I know she won't also call them one on the playground? I don't want to end up with a visit to the principal's office because my 6-year-old told another kid they were a "dingbat" or a "numbskull." I know the names could be worse but still, not a call from the school a parent ever wants to get.

Plus, I'm setting a bad example. If I can't be brave enough to get out of the truck, walk up to someone's face and boldly call them a "freakazoid driver," then I probably shouldn't say it behind closed windows either. Even though I know they're endangering people's lives with their psychotic driving and violating ALL the traffic and parking laws, I'll have to bite my tongue, shake my head or maybe just growl a little. Because even though it's kind of funny to hear my little kid call another driver a "jerkwad" or a "bonehead" from the backseat, it doesn't reflect too well on me.

Guess I better work on my foul-mouth driving!