Feasting while fasting

I love my slippers -- and almost think I could train LilBit to fetch them for me at day's end. I won't even try though. He loves it when I put on my "walking shoes" and seems to understand that we're done walking for the day when the slippers are on. He'd probably do it, he loves to please, but he would do it grudgingly.

Some type of foot protection, even while inside on a summer day, became a vital necessity as the children, our boys in particular, entered elementary school and simultaneously discovered army guys. Those little green plastic men were sharp little buggers, especially the ones with bayonets affixed. Only Legos were more hazardous. An unexpected encounter with either a loose Lego or an army guy meant dancing around on one foot while the rest of the house slept, trying to contain the yelp evoked by the sharp edges, somehow made sharper in the dark of night.

I cleaned up after my army of two many a time, yet never quite figured out the battle plan that required that two or three of the little green soldiers take up positions inside the furnace ducts.

Little green soldiers, whether tin or plastic, tend to stay wherever you lay them, awaiting further instruction. Lt. Hiroo Onoda, a Japanese soldier who continued to fight World War II until his commanding officer, who had become a bookseller after the war ended, came to the Philippine Island of Lubang to convince him in person that the war was over 29 years later, comes to mind. That was one long wait. I wonder if the family that moved in after we left found any of the boys' army guys, waiting still.

It is not in our nature to just blindly obey. It seems we form, or more likely are given, the ability to see life: as it is; as it can be; as it could be; and perhaps most importantly, how it should be. We then spend our lives attempting to bring what life is to what life should be.

Yet we each see life, as it is and as it should be, differently. Some see it quite a bit differently. They are those who have seen their short futures come to a blazing end, even as they cut down the innocent. That this thought could form in the mind of any man, even men made susceptible by drugs, mind-control, even some form of insanity, remains incomprehensible to most, yet crimes of this type continue to increase. The high level of planning, the intricacies of implementation, etc., reveal an equally incomprehensible focus on evil acts.

An old Cherokee fable places a young brave, on the precipice of manhood, in the company of his grandfather, known to be a wise and kind man, living a life worthy of emulation.

The young man, already showing more wisdom than his years justified, asks his grandfather how he came to be the man he was.

His grandfather explained that in the heart of every man live two wolves, where they do great battle. One wolf seeks everything that is good; the other is filled with a ravenous appetite for all that is evil.

"Oh, grandfather," the now pale youngster asks, "who will win the battle?"

Confidently, the grandfather responds, "The one I feed is the one who wins."

Accompanying the knowledge of how life is and how life should be, is the knowledge of the many diverse paths possible as the hungers within us increase. And each day, we determine which wolf gets fed, today.

Enter now this traditional season of fasting, when some, for 40 days, set aside an appetite, seeking to learn self-control, perhaps seeking to identify with all that the Lord set aside when he left heaven and came to man, bringing them salvation.

The Rev. Gary Brethour explained Friday that sometimes man chooses his fast, his desert place, there to learn self-control, there to taste tears of yearning, in order to deepen his devotion while diminishing the powers of distraction, deception and indulgence.

Sometimes, he allowed, it is the very heart of God that compels us, willingly or not, to enter that desert place where we perforce learn self-control and taste tears of pain, of loneliness, of heartbreak, depression, even despair. All this, to teach, to train, even to discipline us, because God the Father engages each of his children, those who believe, those whom the Son has called out of the "darkness and into his marvelous light." (I Peter 2:9)

These desert places come in many forms: injury, disability, divorce, death, poverty or riches (either in too large a dose a danger), the list of possibilities is endless and so no one's desert experience is identical, even if you have company in the desert. Each of these desert experiences is unique to the individual and sadly, not everyone emerges from them. Some refuse the lesson and remain in the desert, many like Lt. Onada, who dismissed the many attempts made to convince him that the war was over, until his commander arrived. Others resent the lesson, count the cost of discipleship too high, and leave the desert by force, abandoning not only the lesson, but life, as it is and as it should be, as well.

Certainly there are some who enter this season of fasting willingly, selecting their fast with care, who nevertheless end their fast before the 40 days have passed, at the very least disappointing themselves if not the Father as well. Perhaps these hearts are better served when the Father selects the fast.

Today, whether your fast is self-selected or Spirit-led, wash your face and comb your hair, as Jesus instructs in Matthew 6:17, and above all else, remember Jesus' response, when his time of testing came at the end of his desert wanderings, and feast even as you fast.

"Jesus answered, 'It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'" Matthew 4:4 (NIV)

I don't have all the answers, but I know and love the One who does. Let's walk in his love and discover him together.

Dawn