Meanest Mom Award

Just in case you didn't know, I AM the meanest mom in the world. No one else's mom is as mean as me. Everyone else's mom lets their daughters do whatever they want but not me. I couldn't get any meaner. In fact, I think my Meanest Mom of the Year award is being shipped as we speak. I'm certain my daughters secretly nominated me for this prestigious honor for all the horrible, awful things I've made them do or have not allowed them to do.

This is a list of all the mean and terrible things I've done to receive this significant award:

1. I made my 12-year-old go to bed at 9:30 on a Saturday night. She was not tired at all, even though she'd had a super busy Friday and Saturday and there was no reason for her to go to bed that early, so what if she had Bible class that next morning. Her friends get to stay up as late as they want on weekends. I never let her do anything!

2. I made my 5-year-old clean up every last Barbie, Polly Pocket and Squinkie that were spread all over the living room floor, AND sort them into the right tote. She missed her TV show and going outside to play because she had to spend SO much time picking up 847 toys that are the size of corn kernel. Oh, the tears that were shed! How could I be so insensitive to her needs?

3. I made my 9-year-old go back out and reorganize her junk in the garage that she was supposed to put away correctly, so there was room to get in and out of the truck. She'd already done it once and wanted to finish her favorite show and then I had the audacity to make her go back out and do it again. Man!

4. I made my 12-year-old only one, get one, small snack after school and not get to watch the show she taped just because she had 10 math problems to do and two tests to study for all in one night. She would have had plenty of time to study and watch two episodes of her show, if I'd just let her be. Yes, she'd feel bad if she didn't get an A on the tests but it's her FAVORITE show, for Pete's sake.

5. I told my 5-year-old she couldn't go outside and play after school. So what if she had a head cold and it happened to be 15 degrees with 30 mph winds. She'd be fine. She told the neighbor girl at school that she would definitely be outside to play and then I said "no." How dare I? She "never" gets to play outside with her friend!

6. I told my 9-year-old she couldn't have her fifth after school snack. It didn't matter that we were eating an early dinner. For crying out loud, she was starving! She'd already had a cereal bar, a cupcake, some fruit snacks, and crackers. What was the big deal if she had a few pretzels too?

7. I made my 5-year-old eat all of her breakfast before I gave her another cup of juice. Did I not notice the cereal was soggy by then and it wasn't the kind she really wanted even though that's the one she picked out? She would still eat some if I'd only give her one more big glass of juice first. I'm just SO mean!

8. I took my 12-year-old's phone away for a week and from then on, made her keep it on the counter in the evenings instead of by her side at all times. Her friends can text anytime they want; at dinner, while they're doing homework, and past 9 p.m. Why can't she? I'd already reduced her Facebook privileges and now I was setting rules on her phone too? Geesh! What is my deal?

9. I made my 9-year-old go to a class she signed up for and committed to when she didn't feel like it. She was just too tired that day and they probably wouldn't do anything or learn anything new in the class, and it wouldn't hurt to miss just one day. The teacher wouldn't care if she wasn't there but I made her go for no reason. I'm so selfish, just cause I'm paying for it and she's not.

10. I wouldn't let my 5-year-old run around the halls of an out of town school where her sister was playing basketball. I made her sit with me in the bleachers and entertain herself. Even though I'd brought a giant backpack full of colors, toys and snacks, there was NOTHING for her to do and she was SO bored. The other girls got to run around and she was the ONLY one who didn't get to. Seriously, could I be a meaner mom??

These are just a few reasons why I have been chosen for the Meanest Mom award. There are many others and I guarantee, a lot more to come. With three daughters, I'm sure 2012 won't be the last year I receive this award.