Taking it one step farther

It was, in a word, refreshing.

The speaker Sunday night at Memorial Auditorium, Pam Stenzel, did not mince words. She didn't soft-pedal her message but allowed her passion full expression as she presented fact after fact after fact about the dangers of premarital sex and promiscuity.

She clearly identified the dangers of indulgence, both by the teens indulging their passions and the parents who indulge their children, tacitly granting permission for promiscuity by providing birth control pills and condoms.

Finally, I thought as I scribbled page after page of notes, someone unafraid to identify sin and its attendant cost.

And it is a high cost indeed. As she described several future scenarios for the young people -- a young woman who has to inform her intended husband that there would be no children for them because her early indiscretions had caused her to become infertile; or the young man who had to confess that herpes would be the couple's constant companion if they married -- I had to wonder, who would take the chance?

And then I remembered. I remembered that sense of invincibility that identifies this age group. Only time and heartbreak can cure that. Furthermore, although the vast majority of the adolescents present gave Stenzel their undivided attention, there were a few who wore expressions of skepticism or even downright disdain. And I recalled the sense of disconnect that exists between my generation and the upcoming one. Because I remember being part of the upcoming generation who looked at someone Pam's age and immediately discounted any and every word, wrongly believing that people like Pam had lived too long to even begin to remember what is was like to be young and in love.

How I wish those were the only obstacles to making good, healthy choices.

And, how I wished Pam could have addressed more than the cost.

She came close a couple of times, alluding to the emotional components, but that, understandably, is an entire presentation on its own.

No one can identify more closely than I with 14- or 15-year old girls seeking to have some kind of value. I was raised in a household where sexuality and its expression were put on a pedestal and all I should hope for or work toward was a shapely, desirable form. For far too long I believed that my body was the only thing of value I had to offer.

I can't speak for adolescent boys, although I imagine that they are under extreme pressure, real or imagined, to prove their masculinity. And my two younger brothers taught me that boys that age dread rejection and any rejection, sexual or otherwise, is seen by them as a rejection of who they are as a person.

In other words, to blame it all on raging hormones is a total copout. If it were simply a matter of raging hormones, then we would be no better than dogs on the corner. And we all know how to keep the dogs off the street corners.

To say that premarital sex is sin, thus defiling the marriage bed (Hebrews 13:4) and that it comes at a high cost is a good and noble purpose and I applaud Pam's work. Without a doubt, she has armed many young people against falling into this particular temptation with her words.

Nevertheless, our young people -- no -- everybody needs to understand, not only what sin is, not only what the consequences of sin are, but what lies behind the sin, behind the temptation.

We live in a sin-soaked reality and the situation worsens daily. Unbridled passion is eclipsed by unbridled greed, which is eclipsed by unbridled oppression and on it goes. The deeper into the quagmire of sin we slide, the farther we fall from our original design. And, the deeper we slide, the more prone we are to deny that sin is at the heart of the problem -- even that sin exists at all. Alcoholics Anonymous facilitates this deception with the label "disease" to describe the chains of sin that have trapped many in a constant cycle of despair and dependency. "Raging hormones" is nothing but a scapegoat, not only for adolescent sexuality but for all manner of sexual sins, and the fictional account of Robin Hood has elevated thievery to an admirable deed -- if it is done with the right motive.

Created in the image of God, our need to be loved and to love is a constant hunger that only finds partial satisfaction even in the righteous sexual expression found within the boundaries of marriage. Until we find ourselves loved by God and loving him in return, that hunger will continue to rage. Until we find ourselves loved by God and learn that his best for us is better than anything we could ask or imagine, our hunger for more money or more power will remain unsatisfied. Until we understand our vulnerability to the first and I think the greatest temptation, "You will be like God," (Genesis 3:5) we will continue to deny sin, its consequences and our need for a savior.

And so, to Pam's excellent presentation I would add only that we must seek the One who loved us first, who always loves us best, and we must teach our children to do the same.

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8 (NIV)

I don't have all the answers, but I know the One who does. Let's walk together for awhile and discover Him; together.

Dawn