Tiger's back

Tiger Woods, the best golfer playing the game today and perhaps the best golfer ever, returned to competitive golf this week, playing in the most prestigious of the four major championships; the Masters. Due to the multiple allegations and confirmations of extra-marital affairs, he hasn't played since last November. All he did on Thursday was shoot his first sub-par 70 at the Master's in his career, post two eagles for the first time ever in this tournament and, when the day ended, was only two strokes off the lead. It was a truly remarkable accomplishment.

But this column isn't about golf or even Tiger golf. It's about being human and how we respond to the crises in our lives, whether self-inflicted or not. And obviously, Tiger's crisis WAS self-inflicted.

I doubt that many people around here have ever had to live their lives almost completely in the public eye. Most of us have never been under a magnifying glass. Most of us have never had the kind of celebrity status that compels people of the opposite sex to want to be with us just because they can say they were. Tiger was exposed to these temptations and he took the bait.

I understand what he did and why he did it. So many were quick to criticize of course. We're always much better at critiquing and criticizing the behavior of others than we are our own behavior. I've heard numerous people ask why he got married to begin with since cavorting with women he met at the golf course or the numerous golf functions he attended was something that had been going on long before he ever met his wife.

I've asked that question too because he's married to a beautiful supermodel and they have two small children. But no one knows what goes on behind closed doors and drawn curtains, even in southwest Nebraska, and no one knows what went on in their house either. Whatever DID go on is beside the point. Something drove him to continue the behavior he had started before he got married and everyone knows the results.

Perhaps he wanted to have his cake and eat it too. A lot of people do. I've been on the bad side of a relationship like that, like the women he had affairs with are. But even then, there's a difference between falling in love with someone and being loyal to that relationship as opposed to taking on most comers, as Tiger apparently did.

No one ever knows the full story either because few of us make the attempt to get the full story. To do that, you have to listen to both sides and be open minded while you do. Most of us only hear one side, one interpretation and then side with our friend. When I was in my relationship, none of her friends ever had a conversation with me about it. Consequently they had no idea how I interpreted the relationship or what was going on in my head and my heart. But that sure didn't stop them from drawing conclusions and making judgments, just like the world has done with Tiger and his situation. It's very similar to our political perspectives. Few people listen to both sides in an attempt to find the truth. Instead we listen to whatever side supports our own views. So people who listen to Rush Limbaugh don't also listen to Keith Olbermann and vice versa. And because they don't, they develop a biased perspective instead of a balanced one.

This is not to excuse Tiger's behavior but just imagine being the best in the world at what you do. Just imagine being young and knowing you can have any woman you want just by asking. Just imagine being bulletproof because that's what all celebrities think they are; whether they're athletes, media stars or politicians. They honestly believe they can get away with anything and so they do; at least until they get caught.

When he realized he couldn't turn down temptation, should he have separated or divorced his wife? Of course he should have. But that goes back to having your cake and eating it too. People who do these kinds of things aren't thinking about norms, values or morals. They're not thinking about how their behavior affects others, including the people who care about them the most. They're not future focused, they're present focused because they only care about themselves and having a good time now and when the good times become problematical, they bail.

Have the people who have constantly criticized him been hypocrites or the protectors and defenders of good, clean living? I suspect the former rather than the latter because that's what most people do. We criticize the failings of others to distract ourselves from our own failings.

Tiger played magnificent golf on Thursday and I know why he did. Once you're in the arena, the rest of the world goes away. For Tiger, it's being inside the ropes. For me, it's being inside the classroom. When I'm teaching, I'm only focused on what I'm doing, why I'm doing it and who I'm doing it for. When things are really bad with me, I wish class would never end because I know when it does, I have to walk out of the classroom and face the cold, hard realities of life and the problems and unanswerable questions that come with it.

I suspect that's how Tiger felt yesterday.