Fulfilling all of our needs

If a person sits in front of the television for an evening, he or she will see many commercials which promise some form of fulfillment. Beauty products promise satisfaction with appearance; restaurants promise satisfaction of hunger; weight loss products promise satisfaction with weight; dating services promise the satisfaction of finding that special someone.

Each of these is a desire that everybody has. Everybody wants to be attractive, be within a healthy weight, not go hungry, and not be lonely. And there is nothing wrong with wanting any one of these things, as long as one remembers that each only fills one specific need at a time. The problem is that often people turn to these things to find self-fulfillment.

Most people have an idea of what self-fulfillment is. It is being content and happy with yourself, just the way you are. However, most people are not fulfilled in this way, and so they turn to other sources, trying to fill the hole in their heart.

So instead of facing their problems, people turn to food for comfort, hide behind makeup and will date just about anyone so that they won't feel alone. Granted, there is nothing intrinsically wrong with eating, wearing makeup, and dating, but the reasoning behind it is all too often motivated by trying to find self-fulfillment in all the wrong places.

Advertisers, knowing all too well this weakness in people, take full advantage of it by making their products seem like they will fulfill people. This is particularly true of beauty and weight loss products, since so many people seem convinced that if they were happy with their appearance, they would be happy with themselves.

The worst part of this advertising is that it only drives the point home even further -- because it increases sales to do so. Nobody is going to change the way advertising works anytime soon, so it is up to us to change the way we find fulfillment in our lives.

I am going to be the first to admit that I am not completely satisfied with myself. I suspect that there are very few people who actually are, though some people over the age of 70 come close. I will admit that I have drowned my sorrows in many a bowl of ice cream, have bought makeup and pretty clothes in the hopes that they would make me feel better about myself, and have been sure that finding a significant other would make me content with myself.

What I discovered in each of these circumstances was that the ice cream only brought temporary relief, and then only at the price of tremendous guilt. Wearing makeup and pretty clothes made me look lovely on the outside, but did nothing to clean up the mess inside of me. And finding a significant other -- by far one of the biggest joys in my life -- did not make the self-dissatisfaction disappear.

Why is it that these temporal things do not fulfill us entirely? Because each one only fills a specific need. Food satisfies hunger, but not emotional pain. Beauty satisfies our ego, but nothing more. A significant other or a friend fulfills our need for companionship, but not the need to be at peace with ourselves.

Where then do we turn to find self-fulfillment? Surprisingly enough, it is not just any one thing that can provide it. Maslow's hierarchy of needs is a good example. Abraham Maslow, a psychologist, first proposed this hierarchy of needs in 1943. He hypothesized that in order to reach "self actualization," which I am calling self-fulfillment, one must have several other needs met -- physiological needs, the need for security, the need for love and belonging and the need for self-esteem.

But even when we have all of these other needs met, what fills that final need at the top of the hierarchy? Really, it is the need for peace with the self.

The Bible tells us that Jesus provides "the peace that passes all understanding." It is only when we stray from the Word of God that we are not fulfilled and satisfied with ourselves.

The bottom line: Self-fulfillment only comes from one source, and that is the love of God, who provides every single one of our needs.