Locating a long, lost list

Attention Washington politicians:

Want to stay in office because the economy is running at full speed?

Just declare a few more holidays.

I've noticed Halloween is well ensconced in the No. 2 spot behind Christmas, or is it Valentine's Day? St. Patrick's Day has joined New Years Eve as a time for serious partyers, and Thanksgiving and the Fourth of July have to be in the running for days with the largest average consumption of calories.

All of the holidays have their serious sides, of course, and I don't suggest that we forget their true meaning just because a few more are added.

But judging from a shopping list I found over the Memorial Day weekend, a lot of money was added to the economy by folks who did more than just visit the cemetery.

For the most part, it wasn't that unusual -- plates, cups, napkins, mayonnaise lite, avocados, salsa, lunch meet -- but it was obvious a celebration was at hand.

"RWB ribbon," steaks, tonic water, V8 juice, vodka" -- beer was crossed out. Was it because the shopper already had enough, or because the one who wanted it had fallen out of favor?

If so, what was I to make of the entry for "eyelashes glue"?

And I assume the liquor would all be consumed legally, despite "park pass" being included on the list.

The shopper also wanted to remember to order the palm trees and bring along the brats -- I assume it was pronounced like "broughts," and not describing the guests for which the football was being brought along.

I'm sorry the shopper lost the list, but I'm sure she remembered enough of the items the put a sizeable dent in the balance on her debit card.

I'd return the list if it wasn't already too late.

But I guess I shouldn't feel too guilty; at least not too unique by prying into someone's private life via a misplaced shopping list.

In fact, there's at least one Web site, probably more, devoted to the subject: http://www.grocerylists.org/

I'd browse it, but I'm afraid I'd find one of my own lists there.